Weren’t They?
I awake to see my blackened face in the mirror and ask myself what shall we wear today? a touch of white? or perhaps half tone, or would it be impolite to be black to the bone and chance losing my life simply walking home…
A LETTER: How Long Should I Wait On God for a Good Man?
I have heard many women say and listened as they have been told to “wait on tha lawd” for a good man. But I think there is a lot of confusion as to what that really means. We are drawn to Bible stories of prophets and angels and people being told where to go and when. But that was then and this is now. Plus not everything man interprets as God is really God even if it is written in the book you call the Bible. God is not in the matchmaking business. God does not specifically choose to raise up or send a man to you. As much as it makes people feel good to want to believe that, you need to understand that God is not a respecter of persons no more than the rain or snow chooses not to fall on you when you forget your umbrella or your coat.
Tree of Life
TREE OF LIFE -by Neo Blaqness There are moments I cannot help but be jealous of a tree and how easily it can shake loose its leaves in the autumn breeze and fold its life into itself until the cold of winter melts and its branches yawn outstretched for spring to hug...A LETTER: Am I Wrong For Not Dating Dark Skinned Men?
Just because we have a right to say or want something don’t always make it the wisest thing to say or do. At the same time there is nothing wrong with saying what you find attractive as long as you understand that the outward appearance does not define the character of the person inside. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder but is truly only skin deep while ugliness runs to the bone. The world will never truly be color blind, but you also can’t afford to be stuck on color stupid such that you overlook blessings standing right in front of you.
A LETTER: The Time of Rescue is Not The Time for Relationships
I used to teach in my counseling classes that there is a reason that a lifeguard throws you a life ring. Because a panicked person can’t drown a life ring but they can drown YOU. I don’t care how strong a swimmer you are, you can’t drink that much water fighting somebody you trying to save. That’s also why the first thing a rescuer says when running into a situation by themselves is “Call 911”. That is for several reasons. In case the person don’t grab on to the life ring. In case the person drown. In case the person drown you. And in case you got to bust them upside the head in order to save them. The time of rescue is not the time for relationships.
The Wall
THE WALL by Neo Blaqness There is a crack in the wall between me and you If I press my face against it I can see right through and upon my cheek a kiss of grateful air that has found a place to move a yearning breeze squeezed between two hardened hearts of stone...A LETTER: Loneliness While Under Stress
It kind of reminds me of that scene from the Matrix Trilogy when The Oracle says “We can never see past the choices we don’t understand” and Neo says “Are you saying I have to choose whether Trinity lives or dies?” and The Oracle replies “No, you’ve already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.” So many of our choices that have led to stress in our lives were made long ago. The stress is in understanding why. Once we begin this process of discovery, we can start to have peace through knowing what needs to change and how to change it if only within ourselves.
A LETTER: The Lies Both Sides Tell
NEO why is it so hard to find a man who ain’t just full of lies? I mean they step at you like they got it all together and as soon as you close you find out they just fake?
A LETTER: Using Good Judgment When A Man Offers to Help
NEO, I just feel like right now…I only have my heart and love to offer…am I wrong for putting my love life on hold until I get back up on my feet? He’s willing to stick by me but I feel inadequate. ..
A LETTER: Staying In a Relationship After You Meet Someone Else Better for You
NEO, my question is how do you stay with somebody you discover you really don’t love and don’t really love you after you meet someone you know is meant for you?
Finding Your Own Way
I have learned as I have grown older that your family only knows your history- where you been. Your friends know who you are- the person you let them see. Everybody else only knows what they want to believe. But at the end of the day, only you know where you are...Fighting For Freedom While Being Pulled Back Down
I don’t look for things in others that I don’t also aspire to be; neither can I seriously consider anyone who presents a laundry list of things they want in someone that they themselves can’t live up to. That is why it has always been important for...Night Shift
NIGHT SHIFT by Neo Blaqness The hardest part about bein single is wurkin dat night shift punchin dat clock afta dark closin dem eyes an tryin ta drift but ain’t nuthin movin stuck in park ain’t got no ride so you just sit there watchin time go by with...U Scared
U SCARED -by Neo Blaqness u scared I kno u scared cuz u ain’t neva been there u been wit lots of bruthas but they ain’t never take you there that’s why u scared I kno u scared cuz u thot ya azz was grown breakin hearts and necks but couldn’t...WHY? (A Chick’s Reply)
WHY? (A Chick’s Reply) by Neo Blaqness Why? Is dat wut u wanna kno? Eertime u call me now I leave ya azz on hold? U ask me why? Do u really wanna kno? Now wen u come knockin I leave u standin at dat door? U don’t kno why? Really? Betta ask dat otha ho Or...A LETTER: Relocating for Love
I think that if someone is worth moving closer to then take the time to find a job and your own place and establish yourself there with the understanding that at the end of that year, you should be headed for marriage.
A LETTER: Accused of Drinking Haterade
I will only say that the only single mom I know who got pregnant by keeping her clothes on gave birth to Jesus and she still managed to attract a good man. All your friend is going to attract are repeat offenders but she is the one, like every other single mom, who will end up serving the life sentence each time.
A LETTER: Am I Pretty?
A young lady on my page is 19 years old and asked a simple question last night, “Am I pretty?”. Within minutes a 30 year old dude chimes in and says “No. You sexy”.
Love, Dad
There is no question in my mind how you came to be. It wasn’t lust, I wasn’t blind, It didn’t happen accidentally. I gave my all in love and you are what that love conceived. That didn’t change just because of what later happened between your mother and me
NEO’S TOP 10 THINGS I CAN’T STAND ABOUT BLACK MEN AND WOMEN
NEO’S TOP 10 THINGS I CAN’T STAND ABOUT BLACK MEN AND WOMEN 1. That black women don’t take control of their bodies and stop allowing themselves to be impregnated by men they already know have no track record of stability- relationship and otherwise. 2. That black men...NEO’S TOP 10 REASONS A WOMAN WILL STOP CALLING YOU BACK
NEO’S TOP 10 REASONS A WOMAN WILL STOP CALLING YOU BACK 1. Something you said kicked up feelings she isn’t quite ready to talk about or face. 2. She is afraid to tell you something she fears might run you away. 3. She already got what she wanted out of you...NEO’S TOP 10 REASONS A MAN WILL STOP CALLING YOU BACK
NEO’S TOP 10 REASONS A MAN WILL STOP CALLING YOU BACK 1. You wouldn’t have sex with him. 2. You was too quick to have sex with him. 3. He too busy having sex with somebody else. 4. You wouldn’t give him no money. 5. Some other chick giving him money....This Little Light of Mine
Nobody expects perfection of anyone they meet. What most of us look for is balance- someone who comes to us and doesn’t take us off balance by the weight of their world.
Running People Away With Your Past
That Crown of Life is a reward for RIGHT NOW. It is that peace that passes all understanding that says whether you were raped, abused, lied to, disgraced, or lived a life you wasn’t proud of, when you join your life to growing in wisdom, you are yoking your baggage and your burdens to the love of God and they won’t feel so heavy anymore.
A LETTER: Breaking The Covenant of Care
What happens far too often in our community is we have unprotected sex for lustful reasons without consideration that a child needs the love and support of both the parents WHO ACTUALLY MADE THEM, then we decide after the fact that person is really not for us so we all keep trading mates until we get what we want- forget that we just totally screwed over a child for our own selfish reasons and then wonder why so many of our kids are so messed up.
A LETTER: A Young Mother Cries
Neo, I feel like I have so much anger in me and dont know how to deal with it. Its just like how do I go day by day with a smile on my face around everyone but on the inside I know he damaged me
If Love Begins With L, Why Do We Start by Chasing The O
The friends I have with permanent STD’s didn’t get them by being deliberately promiscuous. Most got them from compromising themselves at a point of loneliness or weakness and now have to live with that for the rest of their lives. And even when the result wasn’t an STD but an unplanned pregnancy, it is still hard to look a child in the eye knowing that either your lust or your loneliness created a life that should have been made out of love.
A LETTER: Neo, I Have A Poor Relationship History With My Messed Up Family
You need to look at your surroundings and ask yourself if you are truly embedded within a group of toxic people. If so, there is a reason that Jesus said let the dead bury the dead. Sometimes you truly have to just come out from amongst the foolishness.
Aspire to Perfection but Beware The Perfect
Holy people give me the creeps. But, in my experience, those who truly understand grace, are more likely to extend mercy to others with humility of spirit.
Indecision- A Female’s Worst Enemy
We are all, often, our own worst enemy but it would seem, more so with women. I especially laugh when one of my female friends say “well you knew I was wrong and not acting right, why did you let me do it?” like I have some kind of magic powers to stop them from doing what they have chosen to do.
THANKS NEO: You Don’t Have to Act Holy to Say What’s Right
You know sometimes when you got a deep problem it hard to want to go talk to somebody in church because all they want to do is give you a Bible verse and pray and then you feel stupid like they perfect and something must be wrong with you.
A LETTER: I Left A Good Man for a Bigger D–k
I won’t lie. I got what I wanted. But I got a lot of lies too, a lot of baby mama drama and wifes calling my phone.
The Black Relationship Challenge in An Interracial World
I understand exactly why so many black women have given up on black men because, based on my experience, I would have given up on black women except for these things
You Aren’t Entitled to Know Just Because You ask
It is never good to give anybody the sense that they can ask you anything just to be asking.
Snow Day
Sometimes, I don’t know who to feel sorrier for-my friends who have no idea what a day like this can be, or for myself and others who, when faced with such a day alone, truly know what we are missing.
Apparuit Nigrum
As I grow older, well meaning women wonder why I deny them the company of our wiser years together. But Golden Years are not meant for me. I will be a father til I die. There is no rocking chair for me, no retirement party in my future, no sunset days where it will be only you and me.
So Raise Your Glass
I have traveled a long way to finally being me. And I lost two women who married me who deserved to know that the direction of my life would outgrow what we would be capable of remaining. If I had known that, I would have never married them. But had I never married them, I would not be the man that those experiences have taught me to become.
Happy New Year 2014
It isn’t about everything being suddenly right with the world, but setting things right within your own heart and mind so that you are prepared to confront this New Year with courage in spirit and in truth…
A LETTER: The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse
I found one of your newspaper articles from a few years ago where you mentioned four areas that single people need to look at before getting into a relationship but now I can’t seem to locate it online again. I wanted to save those points. Can you share them again?
THANKS NEO: Fellowship Without Walls
when you “touch a nerve” I’m forced to stop and take a moment to at the very least acknowledge that there are some I need to face or consider…
A LETTER: How Do You Handle Not Giving In to Desires
If it is not too personal, can I ask you how you handle being single and not giving in to just wanting to have somebody close sometimes?
THANKS NEO: A Heartfelt Thanks
I hope you will share this because what I would like to say in case nobody has said it to you lately is THANK YOU.
A LETTER: Break Up to Make Up
I have a friend who is n a situation with her x. She still loves him but yet he doesnt tell her how he feels. They break up over a txt, but yet he still contacts her.
A LETTER: A Mother’s Fear of Past Mistakes
My daughter is 15 and her dad lives over 300 miles away. Her dad & I had the birds & bees talk with her together. I think that it went very well. But because her dad has not fully grown up to real man status & is not here for when she begins to date I need to know how to protect her from making the same mistakes that I made.
A LETTER: Neo, How Do You Know?
I was born with discernment. It always scared the adults around me because there was nothing they could hide from me even as a child so it took away my childhood innocence very early. It also scares the women in my life because I know them so well long before they even open their mouth.
Digital Divide College Lecture Series: Neo Blaqness
Neo Blaqness is often called to lecture and present. Watch this video post of his 2013 visit to the University of Illinois
Watch Yourself Online
you have heard me say over and over again that the church is WHO WE ARE and not no preacher or building. The church is the fellowship we share even in a place like this. The church is ANYWHERE we choose to be used by God.
But Why?
In a sense … God does send us to each other, but not in the mysterious way people think.
For The Love of God
What I remembered most over the years is how much those little dirt poor congregations gave and even though we didn’t have anything ourselves, she would always give it back to the church until one pastor told her that they gave it from the heart and to please take it as a thanks for blessing them.
I Ain’t Skeered
I don’t fear God or Man. A spirit of fear is not something God gave us. That is something that has been brainwashed into us so that we will follow whatever man says we should think about God.
A LETTER: If They Aint Feelin You, Let It Go
You can’t flirt or beg somebody into loving you. You can’t pay their cab, bus, train, or plane ticket into loving you. You can’t pay their bills into loving you. All those things do is leave you broke, used, angry, and confused.
A LETTER: Itchy and Scratchy: That Thing About Exes
I have seen many of my friends ruin the potential of a new beginning by getting that itch scratched by a flea bitten ex they shoulda neva laid back down with.
Blessed and Highly Favoured
I am no more favoured than any other. Everyone has a path that is uniquely theirs to follow. They need only acknowledge it
Rocks from Behind The Cross
Someone said look there’s Jesus see Him up there on that cross…while the world does what it pleases He died so that sinners won’t be lost
Social Media While In a Relationship- It’s Not Worth It
When there is always somebody online who will lie to you and tell you that you are right just to get in your pants, the relationship in front of you doesn’t stand a chance. In the absence of real mothers and fathers, the conscience of relationships has now reached a the new low of whatever the friends list thinks.
True Love
TRUE LOVE by Neo Blaqness When a smile upon a face you love means much more than your own and the mere whisper of their name makes your heart feel at home thinking of the many ways their love has caused your life to grow even though you’ve never even had them...Tearless
TEARLESS by Neo Blaqness There are tears I no longer cry About things I no longer ask why Feelings I have allowed to die Just so that I can live and survive without youExes
EXES by Neo Blaqness There are questions which vex us when speaking of exes like how long did you stay and why after you knew in your heart it was over and how long did you cryWhen The Right One Comes
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN WHEN THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG by Neo Blaqness When the right one comes along There’s a song You can’t stop singing A bell that won’t stop ringing In your heart when they are near When the right one comes along Every wound that...Unthorned
UNTHORNED -by Neo Blaqness I know sometimes you visit even how often you stay and read and ask yourself how is it once upon a time you were married to me On my way to who I am we shared a portion of our life knowing now what was not known then still no regrets I have...Bass Ackward Black Values
That is not to say that it is wrong to want more. But for that, you always have to consider the price, and whether or not it is worth paying it…. Extra work hours and child raised by strangers and the TV just so you can have a fancier house or car and you wonder why your child’s values are so messed up.
It’s The Inside That Truly Counts
That story in the book of Samuel is where we get the popular quote that “man looks at the outward appearance but God looks on the heart”. I have always tried to have my outward appearance be a reflection of my heart.
The Way of The World
THE WAY OF THE WORLD -Neo Blaqness Sometimes I think if eyes would blink and from the earth I would fall most wouldn’t give a single thought that I was missing at allA House of Different Names
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN A HOUSE OF DIFFERENT NAMES -by Neo Blaqness I would rather lay my eyes upon you than to do so with my hands or that part of me which so erotically defines me as a man for far too fast talk turns to ass kickin or kissin odds remain fifty fifty as...Man Cave
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN MAN CAVE -by Neo Blaqness I would never say it to your face but there are days when I even miss the way you used to get on my nerves when I was trying to watch the game with you making the dumbest comments I ever heard doing it on purpose because...It’s a Date
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN IT’S A DATE by Neo Blaqness Today I celebrate the anniversary of your touch I’ve never been the kind of man that such things really meant that much until my arms found their place around you and my lips touched yours and the sound my...Mourning Sickness
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN MOURNING SICKNESS -by Neo Blaqness I think I’m pregnant it’s past the date when I should have had a visit from my friend I’m nauseated can’t hold nothin within just been tired funny actin too hormonal for a man craving...Dawn Too Soon
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN DAWN TOO SOON -by Neo Blaqness Tonight I felt your head beneath my chin your breath upon my chest the follicles of my hair waving like grass in a soothing breeze as you gently kissed and caressed the bosom part of me never knowing a man could...A LETTER: Sometimes I Hold My Breath
A simple email encounter with a lesson inside.
Salutations
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN SALUTATIONS – by Neo Blaqness Meet me under the moon where my love longs most for its reflection where the peaceful waters flow beneath the stars this side of heaven tho this portion of my life be measured by the sands of time my soul knows...A LETTER: Make Me Happy
No one is responsible for your happiness but you. Others can only bring their own to add to yours and enhance the flavor of both lives.
Much of a Man
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN MUCH OF A MAN – by Neo Blaqness Don’t ask me how I know for to tell the story would be to break into pieces once more what is still quite difficult to hold for I suppose you would think it unnatural for a man to admit knowledge of...Rehab
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN REHAB – by Neo Blaqness My strength is drained by the weight of each tear that follows along the cracks of my swollen face filling the pillow that we once shared with each breath I labor just to turn my head away from the scent of your...Hoop-Dee
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN HOOP DEE by Neo Blaqness So many times have I poured my heart empty into vessels unfit unworthy or too damaged to hold its love making excuses for flat tires broken windows or lack of an engine trusting my life to a vehicle in obvious disrepair...Fly Ball
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN FLY BALL by Neo Blaqness You know sometimes you just gotta let go despite every reason you want to give yourself to continue to hold onto something that will eventually cost you your health and the wealth of blessings you have already come to...The Beacon
The children
of a good mother or father
are the echoes
of a voice
no longer present
The Son Also Rises: A Tribute to Black Mamas
For the moms who play board games with their kids instead of bed games with men, the moms who try their best to turn a house into a home instead of spending hours on the phone or the internet trying to get the attention of strangers, the moms who think of their kids...It’s a Wrap
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN IT’S A WRAP by Neo Blaqness It isn’t quite the body you had hoped to share with somebody But back in the day when you were young and tight breakin necks makin dem negroes fight you wasn’t really thinkin about all that smokin and...Stronger
Somewhere in life just because you stepped in between someone and their strife from then on everyone assumed you were just stronger and simply concluded they didn’t need to be any longer -Neo...Unleashed- The Story Behind Neo Blaqness
What do your people call you? I think I get that question a hundred times a week as though I am some stray dog without a leash or collar. So let me set the record straight once and for all. Upon the emancipation of slaves in the United States, former slaves were given...THANKS NEO: A Long Forgotten Sin
Neo, I been watching your career grow and grow. Twenty years ago both of us was much younger when I had it in my head that I knew everything about men. I remember like it was yesterday when you started your first paper and would show up at the salon in a tie with...Geeze Louise
“I had to really laugh at myself today as I vividly recalled being a young boy riding the city bus with my mother to clean up the home of an elderly woman suffering dementia which was not as well known as Alzheimer’s is today. We were sitting down to...The Other Half
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN THE OTHER HALF by Neo Blaqness There are moments when she says she loves me I peer deep into her eyes just wanting to be sure that it’s not someone else in disguise Even tho I’ve grown beyond the man I used to be I didn’t think...The Battle of Me- Being Neo Blaqness
If you have never known the responsibility that comes with great gifts or a calling, it is very easy to misunderstand the one who has chosen to be a servant to it- easy to become an obstacle instead of a partner in it- easy to say “this is not what I signed up for”.
RESPITE
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN RESPITE by Neo Blaqness I never understood before people’s fixations with old stuff on a shelf or cars that no one hardly remembers anymore until I finally grew into the shoes of a man and felt the gravity of the world Then it it hit me...THINGS NOT SEEN
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN THINGS NOT SEEN -by Neo Blaqness It matters not how much we know It’s the things we do not that hurt the most make you wanna throw up your hands and just let go shake your fist at the man who said “I told you so” and say...Joy Luck
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN JOY LUCK by Neo Blaqness Have you ever come so close to happiness that you could literally taste it by its aroma on a morning breeze a scent that fills your belly’s hunger from loneliness putting your mind at ease that the full course would...Speak to Me
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN SPEAK TO ME by Neo Blaqness For you I would walk across the ocean tho lose my life upon its floor I would swim the clouds of heaven free falling straight to the earth’s core and pull forth my sword of righteousness call out to Satan’s...Rush to Judgement
Bobby reminded me today by saying “you got the gift to take the small words I know and make them beautiful in a way that people will listen and understand. And you got the heart and respect to do it right. That is why I check on you. I ain’t want nuthin. Just seeing how you was.”
Close That Door
I have had so many reasons in my life lately to think about that time in my childhood and how much we really don’t stop to consider the energy it costs someone when we stand in the doorway of decisions letting out the cool to the summer heat or the warm to the winter cold not realizing the bill we are running up in the home, heart, and mind of someone else who has to pay it.
Deuces- Between Destiny and Choice
I have learned that the Creator and the universe gives us two sets of answers- that which has been made especially for us, and that which can be made by our actions and choices, and that both can be an equal blessing
Neo Blaqness The Host-Interviewer
Neo Blaqness is a seasoned host and interviewer whose style is to engage his guest on a very human level. Here is a 2013 interview he did with blues legend Bobby Rush to honor TrubuPRESS author and 1959 Golden Gloves Champ, Khair Ali.
Livin Large- On Subsistence?
Now we are so addicted to whatever the government hands us that we think we doing something and think we got our own when in reality we are the ones owned and enslaved by Section 8, and WIC, and Food Stamps. It has become our new slavery and social services has become our new overseers as we tell them all our business to keep getting a check.
U
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN U by Neo Blaqness There is a letter missing from my life no matter how often I speak or how much I write It fails to show up on my lips or when I type and yet nobody notices that it’s not there but me and...Autumn
People often ask me what is it that I find so appealing about autumn? Is it the color of the leaves? The briskness of the air? The grey cloudy skies? The coming of the winter snow?
Fatherhood Stories: Store Bought
I learned that you just can’t fake kids out with store bought love. Even if it is a little late and a little less in your mind, anything done by the heart of your hands is always going to be the best.
Fatherhood Stories: Paying It Forward
Mine is a dying breed. I know because you keep telling me. I am an old skool father because a man was in my life to raise me. I am thankful for this young lady’s mother and the other mothers who have listened to their spirits and allowed me help with their children.
Avatars
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN AVATARS by Neo Blaqness In the deep quiet of the night when all the world seems still my soul feels the restlessness of your struggling will over what next what was what is why and because all fighting for the prominence of first place in your...The Epitathe of Real Men
You sistahs got to stick together and stop hatin on each other and stop thieving from each other over these worthless men who don’t value nuthin but controlling you and gettin in your pants. You already should know that if you can steal him, you can’t keep him.
Reruns
A generation later we have gotten so hooked on laughing at the reruns that we forgot that our liberties are steady being assassinated, the hate speech is back stronger than ever, but they still don’t mind handing our sons and daughters guns to go do their dirty work in the name of protecting a freedom that nobody overseas is threatening any greater than what they are doing to us with their own legislation.