A LETTER: In The Shade of The Son

You know we all seem so sure when we are in the presence of darkness. We usually don’t doubt it for one second. And yet how easily we dismiss the light of others in our lives or, worse still, allow others to throw shade who don’t got nothing to do with God’s purpose between you and somebody else.

A LETTER: Facing Faith, Family, & Fear

You have to be willing to accept for yourself that you are either a new creature in Christ or you are not. Nobody else can do that for you. And once you do accept it, nobody can separate you from what that means to your new life; not even by bringing up doubts based upon your old life.

THANKS NEO: In Memory of Mama & Me

Caregiving was at times challenging for me because, in never having given birth to any children, I was new at not only now parenting, but at my child actually being my mother. Wow! Thank you for in a sense having co-parented with me through countless phone calls and emails.

A LETTER: But Ugliness Runs To The Bone

I remember when I was in high school a Jamaican acapella choir came to perform and they sang a song that basically said that if you want to be happy it is better to marry a girl uglier than you. We all laughed about it. But the truth is, just like there are a lot of women who cannot handle the fact that my work exposes me to many women, there are a lot of men who avoid the drama that comes with a woman that is either too beautiful or too vain.

THANKS NEO: You Are Changing Lives That You Don’t Even Know

Do you even realize how potent your words are to a sister like me who has never imagined a brother like you existed? I have to keep telling myself this is only the internet but that excuse does not work when the words I read are so real. I don’t want you to think I am a stalker but I am so in love with the person that you are. You are my daily breath of fresh air after dealing with the majority of the male bull sh*t on this site. I would have already closed my profile by now except for the fact that I check every day at lunch to see if you posted something new.

A LETTER: The Sexuality of Love

I have the same problem with ALL promiscuous people regardless of their sexuality. It breaks my heart that they cannot love themselves enough to see how beautifully and wonderfully made their lives are. Some of your profiles make me weep when I see you half naked looking for love. But then how can you expect gay and transsexual people to act any different when half of us hate on them without even wanting to know who they are?

A LETTER: My Life is in Ruins and I Have Even Contemplated Suicide

Nobody owes you anything that you do not first owe to yourself and what you first give to yourself, no man can take away. I always say, I might die broke. I might die alone. I might die with people calling me everything but a child of God. But I will die with DIGNITY. I will not compromise who I am just so somebody else can make me feel like somebody. I am somebody because God made me somebody.

THANKS NEO: Thank You Neo for My Anniversary

What I didn’t know is he tried to continue that fight with you online over the whole week I didn’t hear from him and how much that fight with you would bring him back to me as a very changed man. You know the rest of the story. Six months later we got married and you were there. My hubby invited you and you didn’t turn him down.

wELCOME TO nEO’S wORLD

You are 25 years old. You are not a child. But what you did was not something a grown woman should have done. If you still live at home, you live by the rules of that house. It don’t matter what you think is fair. If you broke those rules and tried to hide it, then they have every right to throw you out. And if they are wrong, then you still need to start making a life for yourself.

A LETTER: I Think I Chased Him Away

I have learned that love must always be embraced with the wonder of a child; that the more freely and without fear two people are able to set aside past pains, that the walls between them fall flat and become the foundation of faith and truth upon which a home is built wherein an unfailing love is eternally warmed by the fire of spirit filled wisdom.

A LETTER: A Straight Answer To A Gay Question

I have friends who have been gay from the day they were born and have never changed their sexuality because it is not possible for them. I am just saying that the majority of folks practice a sexuality of convenience. Most of it is really a result of broken families where people are just looking for love anywhere they think they can find it…

A LETTER: Being Criticized for Having Preferences

Being unequally yoked is not just a religious term, it is also a practical one. You should be able to enjoy the things you love with the person you love. It’s different if unforeseeable circumstances cause things to change but I would not deliberately put myself in a committed relationship with anyone incompatible with areas very important to me.

A LETTER: How Come Everybody Can Get A Man But Me?

How come my girlfriends can be so quick to replace a man but I been single for 2 years and can’t seem to find one decent man to get with. They get mad trying to hook me up telling me I am too picky and I am alone because I want to be. Neo that is not true. The guys they deal with think that if they sex you good and give you money you should be happy and I need more than that.

Someone Asks, Is Masturbation a Sin?

In my experience, where masturbation becomes dangerous is when it escalates and sustains desires toward someone you have no moral justification to ever be with that way. It ramps things up to the point where if given the opportunity, you will involve yourself with a situation unhealthy to your spirit. Only the individual knows when this is true.

THANKS NEO: Sometimes All You Can Do Is Try

I do get weary sometimes when so many cry for help but really don’t want the help that is best for them. I’m sure it won’t change what I do the next time a situation like this comes up. I never could really keep myself from diving in heart first sometimes. But every once in a while, on days like this, I miss the feel of loving arms around me with smiling eyes that say, even though I already know… that at least I tried.

A LETTER: How Long Should I Wait On God for a Good Man?

I have heard many women say and listened as they have been told to “wait on tha lawd” for a good man. But I think there is a lot of confusion as to what that really means. We are drawn to Bible stories of prophets and angels and people being told where to go and when. But that was then and this is now. Plus not everything man interprets as God is really God even if it is written in the book you call the Bible. God is not in the matchmaking business. God does not specifically choose to raise up or send a man to you. As much as it makes people feel good to want to believe that, you need to understand that God is not a respecter of persons no more than the rain or snow chooses not to fall on you when you forget your umbrella or your coat.

A LETTER: Am I Wrong For Not Dating Dark Skinned Men?

Just because we have a right to say or want something don’t always make it the wisest thing to say or do. At the same time there is nothing wrong with saying what you find attractive as long as you understand that the outward appearance does not define the character of the person inside. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder but is truly only skin deep while ugliness runs to the bone. The world will never truly be color blind, but you also can’t afford to be stuck on color stupid such that you overlook blessings standing right in front of you.

A LETTER: The Time of Rescue is Not The Time for Relationships

I used to teach in my counseling classes that there is a reason that a lifeguard throws you a life ring. Because a panicked person can’t drown a life ring but they can drown YOU. I don’t care how strong a swimmer you are, you can’t drink that much water fighting somebody you trying to save. That’s also why the first thing a rescuer says when running into a situation by themselves is “Call 911”. That is for several reasons. In case the person don’t grab on to the life ring. In case the person drown. In case the person drown you. And in case you got to bust them upside the head in order to save them. The time of rescue is not the time for relationships.

A LETTER: Loneliness While Under Stress

It kind of reminds me of that scene from the Matrix Trilogy when The Oracle says “We can never see past the choices we don’t understand” and Neo says “Are you saying I have to choose whether Trinity lives or dies?” and The Oracle replies “No, you’ve already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.” So many of our choices that have led to stress in our lives were made long ago. The stress is in understanding why. Once we begin this process of discovery, we can start to have peace through knowing what needs to change and how to change it if only within ourselves.

A LETTER: Accused of Drinking Haterade

I will only say that the only single mom I know who got pregnant by keeping her clothes on gave birth to Jesus and she still managed to attract a good man. All your friend is going to attract are repeat offenders but she is the one, like every other single mom, who will end up serving the life sentence each time.

A LETTER: Breaking The Covenant of Care

What happens far too often in our community is we have unprotected sex for lustful reasons without consideration that a child needs the love and support of both the parents WHO ACTUALLY MADE THEM, then we decide after the fact that person is really not for us so we all keep trading mates until we get what we want- forget that we just totally screwed over a child for our own selfish reasons and then wonder why so many of our kids are so messed up.

A LETTER: A Mother’s Fear of Past Mistakes

My daughter is 15 and her dad lives over 300 miles away. Her dad & I had the birds & bees talk with her together. I think that it went very well. But because her dad has not fully grown up to real man status & is not here for when she begins to date I need to know how to protect her from making the same mistakes that I made.

A LETTER: Neo, How Do You Know?

I was born with discernment. It always scared the adults around me because there was nothing they could hide from me even as a child so it took away my childhood innocence very early. It also scares the women in my life because I know them so well long before they even open their mouth.

THANKS NEO: A Long Forgotten Sin

Neo, I been watching  your career grow and grow.  Twenty years ago  both of us was much younger when I had it in my head that I knew everything about men.  I remember  like it was yesterday when you started your first paper and would show up at the salon in a tie with...

THANKS NEO: A Letter I Got Today

A LETTER I GOT TODAY Mr. Blaqness, I saw on your website how other people have wrote you and I thought it was time I wrote you. I hope you share my story like you did with the other people. Four years ago when I was still in middle school I had a lot of anger and as...

A LETTER: Word to Tha Sistahs

You should stop being so desperate that you are willing to accept getting into situations where you don’t want to know the truth. I just don’t think you women are that stupid. But I do think some of you are delusional enough to believe you can give a man your body and your money and think that is enough to make him change the situation he in and all you end up doing is hurting yourself because even if he do leave one situation for you, he already showed you what kind of man he is.

THANKS NEO: Response not Needed or Necessary – Just Listen

God led you to me at the appropriate time and God led you away from me at the right time so I wouldn’t become totally dependent on you which I could feel was beginning to happen. I appreciate you, and will always love your mind. You have an awesome (one of a kind) brilliant mind. Thank you for having briefly shared it with me. I am a much better and stronger person for God having worked through you to reach me because you forced me to listen.

THANKS NEO: Note from an Angel Flying Too Close to The Ground

When you fight a friend over a principle, they don’t see the point, they only see you. When they run out of words to fight over, they are left only with echoes of what was said. And eventually, because words spoken and received emotionally imprint the deepest, they have no choice but to see them for what was truly said. And that is why it is better to be silent than to speak recklessly in anger.

A LETTER: Love Denied or Love In Denial

It sounds like you both need to have a heart to heart putting all your issues and fears on the table and then come up with a plan to face them together so that they are no longer obstacles to the future the two of you could so happily have. But you both have to be willing to do it.

THANKS NEO: Speechless

Neo, people might want to say you crazy but you been this deep the whole part of life I have known you. You always were the one to go head first into learning and then the first one to notice when something not quite right when everybody else wanted you to shut up. I’m glad you never shut up. I’m alive today because you never shut up.

A LETTER: A Message to Myra

CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN Dear Neo Blaqness, A couple weeks ago one of my girlfriends email me how to get to your page. At first I thought you was a comedy because what she sent me was so funny.  I spent the whole evening laughing at a lot of your stuff.  But then I had...