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Et tu Mater? (You Too Mama?)

That word
is the mark of slavery
and used to justify
every no good thing against us.

Keep The Change

You would think that because it has happened to me so many times in my life, that it wouldn’t bother me so much. Most times it does not

Suicide by Friendship

“One thing I want you to remember… when a man is convinced he is going to die, he will usually find a way to make it happen.”

A LETTER: In The Shade of The Son

You know we all seem so sure when we are in the presence of darkness. We usually don’t doubt it for one second. And yet how easily we dismiss the light of others in our lives or, worse still, allow others to throw shade who don’t got nothing to do with God’s purpose between you and somebody else.

A LETTER: From Home

We had no idea of knowing that those were the innocent days that we would never see again. A time in the hearts of hopeful children when race really did not matter.

A LETTER: Facing Faith, Family, & Fear

You have to be willing to accept for yourself that you are either a new creature in Christ or you are not. Nobody else can do that for you. And once you do accept it, nobody can separate you from what that means to your new life; not even by bringing up doubts based upon your old life.

Black Lives Chatter

The same thing happens when we are ignorant of our history. The conclusions we draw are far from the reality of the pictures we paint in our minds.

Some 411 Before Your Next 911

After reading her text I was left with a question to myself: What is it about so many of us that we tend to take better care of others then we do our own selves?


By indiscriminately fomenting discord at the appearance of every white cop involved shooting of a black person, the Black Lives Matter Movement risks riding in the same clown car that produced the birther movement which launched the campaign to de-legitimize the nation’s first African American President. Black Lives Matter clearly does not know how to pick its battles, nor control the narrative of its goals,

A Letter: Confessions from a True Friend

Over the years the corner was my comfort zone, kept me cool, calm and collected. Kept me safe and content. I was a slave, my fears were the whip that kept me in line, kept me quiet.

Empty Nest

For five years I had the honor of being a trustee to his growth- imparting to him everything that coursed through my veins. And although my blood does not flow through his, I never realized before how immaterial to him that had become.

PART VI: A Postscript- My Journey Home

Now I was being presented with REASON. But was it reason enough to choose to live. What would really change by turning back toward life?

PART V: And Miles To Go Before I Sleep

It is the ultimate judgement upon its life that a soul will awaken to see the fruit born of substance that it added to existence still being remembered by those yet alive.


When we sleep, it is not for the sake of our bodies, but for the sanity of our minds. As long as we get proper nutrition and rest from physical activities, the body itself can manage without sleep, but a lack of sleep will eventually drive us insane.

PART III: If I Should Die Before I Wake

When Christians are taught that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, it is a beautiful saying. But there is a science to prayer in the same way that some religions chant to reach a certain state of mind.

PART II: On The Day I Died

Mid morning came and I signed off on the papers also giving my friend authority to make decisions for me. She walked alongside my gurney toward the O.R. up until the waiting room where they told her they would come to her in about an hour to join me in recovery.

PART I: I Guess You Wonder Where I’ve Been

I knew not to chance it. I was warned the last time that I had been only millimeters from emergency back surgery. The nature of the situation was such that the discs could slip into the spinal cord and trigger life threatening signals to my brain and throughout my body.

So Are You…

People will always try to entice you to live in their past. But you have to be wise enough to know there is no future on that path.

A Letter I Sent Today To a White Girl Trying to Hit Me Up

when a white woman tells me she is into black guys, I consider it the most racist thing she could ever say to me. It is not a compliment. It is as stereotypical as watermelon and fried chicken, as if all black guys are the same just because of the color of their skin.

The Seeds of Forgiveness are Rooted in Accountability

When dad whooped us, we knew exactly why because he never came out of his feelings with it. It was never personal except to drive home the point. There was no hug later. There was instead an expectation that he would not have to do it again.

Fatherhood Stories: ComeAlong Home- The Last Day of Laughter

Fatherhood Stories: Come-along Home- The last Day of Laughter Daddy and his friends were what they called, shade tree mechanics. They loved to tinker with motors of old cars. But as poor black folk, they didn't have garages and lifts or most of the tools rich white...

Oh How We Danced- In Memory Of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine

A piece of my childhood passed away this week. I guess we all are a little guilty of liking some of the stupidest shows to ever appear on television but nobody of my generation will ever hear the first few bars of Count Basie's "Jumpin' at the Woodside" without...

THANKS NEO: You Are An Inspiration to So Many

I bless God for you being a mentor, a counselor, a big brother and so much more.

Sweet Aisle of Prayer

I was startled to see her half smiling but her eyes were swollen. I think she had been crying. She said “I seen you in this store shopping late for a long time now and you always have a smile and everybody says how safe they feel when you come in to shop at night because we get some pretty creepy people in here. Please don’t think I am crazy but could you pray for me?”

Fatherhood Stories: My Son Is Getting Married

My son is getting married. Oh did I mention he is a big white boy from the south I met shortly after my divorce when I just needed time to find myself?

It’s Not Easy

Over the past year I have gotten many letters asking me what it is like being the one with answers for so many people who come to me for advice and how does it affect my life. The hardest part about being who I am is how much I hate being right. In my book EPIPHANY:...

A LETTER: What Motivates Neo?

NEO, I just read a post about the blessing you have been to single moms. I am new to your page and to your writing and I just want to say God bless you. I also looked at your website and I see I have a lot of catching up to do. I have been blessed by what I have read...

THANKS NEO: And Upbraideth Not

I don’t know if you realize how much of a endangered species a brother like you is compared to all the crap we usually have to put up with so I can’t blame a sister for trying

A LETTER: I Kicked Him Out for Not Manning Up

He never was violent toward me. He was always respectful. But he was so spoiled by his mama that he was lazy. It felt like other than me having a baby I was the man and I was taking care of a woman.

THANKS NEO: Reflecting Upon an Old Year with New Understanding

I don’t know how you do it and keep a positive mind or a good heart because I know I am not the only one who do what I did. I guess I can only be thankful that you keep doing what you do

Bill Cosby In Contemporary Black Context -by Neo Blaqness

Still, the question remains. If all the accusations are true, why Cosby? And why now? The most obvious answer is social media being the great equalizer against a once insurmountable power. None of these women would have had a chance to appear credible before the age of the mass community verdict which yields even greater weight than an actual court case.

A LETTER: Reasoning, Religion & Repentance

The thing you need to understand first is that religion and faith are two different things. Religion requires a name and a book. Faith requires only a yearning for the wisdom of God and a willingness to accept it. Jesus said I will leave you a comforter- an inner spirit to guide you to all truths.

THANKS NEO: In Memory of Mama & Me

Caregiving was at times challenging for me because, in never having given birth to any children, I was new at not only now parenting, but at my child actually being my mother. Wow! Thank you for in a sense having co-parented with me through countless phone calls and emails.

Village Parenting @ Work

One of my spiritually adopted kids has been having a hard time adjusting to college life. Not so much the classes but with how negative and cruel some young people can be.

A LETTER: But Ugliness Runs To The Bone

I remember when I was in high school a Jamaican acapella choir came to perform and they sang a song that basically said that if you want to be happy it is better to marry a girl uglier than you. We all laughed about it. But the truth is, just like there are a lot of women who cannot handle the fact that my work exposes me to many women, there are a lot of men who avoid the drama that comes with a woman that is either too beautiful or too vain.

THANKS NEO: You Are Changing Lives That You Don’t Even Know

Do you even realize how potent your words are to a sister like me who has never imagined a brother like you existed? I have to keep telling myself this is only the internet but that excuse does not work when the words I read are so real. I don’t want you to think I am a stalker but I am so in love with the person that you are. You are my daily breath of fresh air after dealing with the majority of the male bull sh*t on this site. I would have already closed my profile by now except for the fact that I check every day at lunch to see if you posted something new.

FatherHood Stories: The Heathen, The Holy, and The Hypocrite

But the man whom I thought was my father was just the opposite. A womanizer and sometimes even a thief- a non churchgoing heathen

FatherHood Stories: Almost Gone

How I ended up at that record player is an interesting story. I was too young to swim with the big kids so my dad would sit me in a tiny row boat tied to the pier. I would watch everyone swim. During one picnic my older sister thought she saw a water moccasin and yelled “SNAAAAKE!!!”.

FatherHood Stories: What The Duck?

All this leads me back to one day when he was sitting with his friends who were drinking beer- dad only drank pop. They were always finding something to bet each other on. Somehow the subject got on the subject of catching ducks.

FatherHood Stories: Presents of Mind

At the time he was working as a custodian at an elementary school on a military base. Each year there were electronics that got broken and they would throw them out instead of fixing them. Dad got permission to start bringing the broken stuff home. Pretty soon I had a little shop in the bedroom I shared with my other brothers. I was hardly 10 at the time fixing record players and reel to reel tape decks..

FatherHood Stories: The Fruit of a Lie

How can you tell a child that nothing is wrong when it is a child a discerning as me? I was a bright shining reminder of everyone’s sins. It would have been easier if everyone had simply told the truth.

FatherHood Stories: Oh Lawd I Coulda Killed Them

He just grumbled and said “ok as long as you hear me now get this cleaned up so I can take a shower.” Well it messed me up so bad that I didn’t even feel like watching the movie. I was determined to make it right so I got right to work on that bathroom.

FatherHood Stories: Passing The Bar

I hated my turn. Because that always meant I was going to get stuck on the sand bar. It was a place in the middle of the bay that was only a few feet deep that boats knew to avoid. It was where dad would kick me off the boat if I missed a crab. I would have to watch him drive and dip alone and then he would come pick me up.

FatherHood Stories: The Music Within Me

Those were the days where most of us black folk used to tape all our music off the radio and would be so mad when the announcers talked over it. After a while we knew which deejay to call the radio station and ask for the song and we had the nerve to even tell him we were going to record it so could he please be quiet? Wow. Those were the days.

A LETTER: The Sexuality of Love

I have the same problem with ALL promiscuous people regardless of their sexuality. It breaks my heart that they cannot love themselves enough to see how beautifully and wonderfully made their lives are. Some of your profiles make me weep when I see you half naked looking for love. But then how can you expect gay and transsexual people to act any different when half of us hate on them without even wanting to know who they are?

Love and Trust

"I have said this in many ways before but it bears repeating. Life is not about trusting others. It is about trusting yourself to know what is right for you. Most times we are hurt by the lies we tell to our own face, more than the lies of others. So if you learn to...

A LETTER: I Gets Lonely

NEO, you a man that got it together. Sometimes I wonder do you ever feel as lonely as me or empty like I feel without a mans? Sometimes I am tempted to let somebody come over but I done that in the past I end up with a baby all by myself everytime. I gets so lonely...

THANKS NEO: After All This Time I Think I Finally Get It

I am a church going lady but if I had to pay you for every time you called me out and stepped on my toes I would be broke. Sometimes it is easier to go hear a sermon than to read some of your answers to people. Not because you are mean, even though you do bring it when you need to, but because you are real.

An Awakening Moment from Sweet L

Sometimes God sends you a message through people in a way that you never expect. I get a lot of stuff sent to me and, most of the time it is an old skool song that someone around my age is just sharing to everybody, or a gospel artist they wanted to share in response...

A LETTER: My Life is in Ruins and I Have Even Contemplated Suicide

Nobody owes you anything that you do not first owe to yourself and what you first give to yourself, no man can take away. I always say, I might die broke. I might die alone. I might die with people calling me everything but a child of God. But I will die with DIGNITY. I will not compromise who I am just so somebody else can make me feel like somebody. I am somebody because God made me somebody.

“Love is a state of mind. It is a choice of living. In my life I have witnessed human beings’ boundless capacity to love and countless accounts of cruelty in the name of something other than love. But if the greatest of the gifts to our existence is truly love, let me then die in defense of it, and not in the offense of hate.”

- Neo Blaqness -