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chaseJust a word of advice. If somebody is really feelin you, they will tell you. And if they don’t, it’s not always because you did something wrong or that something is wrong with you. Sometimes they just not ready.

Just like there are some foods you can’t take out of the oven early before it’s done or you gonna end up sick trying to eat it, there are situations you should not push just because you hungry for somebody that got your mind watering (I know I know, I cuda said someplace else….lol). But still, my point is that when somebody is holding back, they got their reasons and when you push for what you want, you can’t blame nobody else for what happens after that.

You can’t flirt or beg somebody into loving you. You can’t pay their cab, bus, train, or plane ticket into loving you. You can’t pay their bills into loving you. All those things do is leave you broke, used, angry, and confused. And there are too many people who feed off of that because that is how they live their so called love life- getting material assistance off of other people’s emotions and, just like a shark with one drop of blood in an ocean of water, they can smell a thirsty heart a million miles away.

I know cuz I been there before and the truth is, each time I knew what I was getting into hoping I could love that person into being a better person- at least that is the lie I told myself. But my motives were really more selfish. I wanted them to become the person I needed for me. But I quickly learned that you can’t mold your mate. They have to be made for you or all you end up doing is cleaning them up good and making them look nice for the next person.

I always find it funny how fast people can convince them self that somebody is an ass. But they don’t trust them self enough to believe when their mind and their heart tells them just the opposite- that someone is good for them. That doubt comes from being burned by their own past stupidity. Everybody goes through that too. And when you run into that kind of hesitation, all you can do is be consistent and let your daily walk speak for you. If it is meant to be, it will be. Just remember it has to be by the choice of both people and not by one person pushing for it or it will fail. And if you have to move on because somebody can’t hang, then love them in your heart, but love yourself enough to see what else life has out there for you because God don’t make nobody change their mind unless they choose to.

I take the time to share these things because I get lots of letters from women who have never had a positive male in their life willing to help them look at things so I try my best to offer something to think about even though I piss yall off sometimes. It’s just that it breaks my heart watching what some of you are doing to yourselves everyday trying to chase down love. Most of the time I can’t read the status thing because it hurts looking at my beautiful sistahs so lost and I get so angry at my bruthas. But then I realize the best I can be is one voice. I’m just trying to make it count for something.” -Neo Blaqness