discernmentA QUESTION FROM ONE OF YOU TODAY:
If you don’t mind me asking; do you get insight into a woman’s soul from your mother or through your relationships and observations? You seem to be wise beyond your years

MY REPLY: I was born with discernment. It always scared the adults around me because there was nothing they could hide from me even as a child so it took away my childhood innocence very early. It also scares the women in my life because I know them so well long before they even open their mouth. I can feel the change of spirit in a woman’s breath, every doubt or hidden pain in the slightest tone of her voice, and in the energy of her presence I even know days before when my friends are going to be sick or ovulating or on their period.

When they call me late at night with migraines or pains or troubles they cannot explain I am usually the one who stays on the phone and talks it away until they finally drift off to sleep. Even when we are miles apart, their spirits call to my heart in times of crisis and I stop everything and call no different than a mother knows when their child is hurt and it shocks them every time. People are not always comfortable with you knowing everything before they are ready to tell you. That is how I know when my friends don’t call, they are usually going through something they are not ready to face but would have to if they called because I instantly know from hello.

When I walk into a home I can feel the spirit of peace or trouble from the very walls. When I was married, I could walk in the door and know without seeing anybody if the house had a good day. In the middle of the night, I could open my eyes and nudge my wife awake and tell her which twin was awake and hungry before they even cried. It is not a gift that is easy to live with and it is even harder for someone to try to live a normal life being with me because of the tremendous pressure of knowing that I always know.

The blessing is that the intimacy I share with anyone close to me is extremely deep at every level of friendship whether we are physically involved or not. And even that makes women uncomfortable because of the way I am made, there is really no way to fully own my heart. And those who have tried have quickly found that no one really wants someone to know them as well as I do. It scares them because many don’t even know themselves that deep. And because it is impossible for me to turn it off, I write to keep myself sane and use my gift to help as many people as I can in whatever voice I need to use to make the points that need to be made. It usually takes time for people to understand that. But if they stick around long enough, we usually bless each others’ lives in the way that we should rather than what we thought we wanted.