Select Page


PART I: I Guess You Wonder Where I’ve Been

PART II: On The Day I Died


I have never believed in death so I have never actually feared it. As a child, when my mother knelt with us in prayer helping us to remember everyone in the litany of God Blesses that was spoken on behalf of family and friends, we ended each prayer repeating the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. For a child, that prayer was right up there with the Our Father Who Art In Heaven.

Even as a child, I understood that prayer and worship, death, and the personhood concept of God was a primitive metaphor for something far greater than most were prepared to embrace. Take a man who has witnessed the modern advent of science and discovery and send him back 2000 years and the traditions of man’s best guess that has manifested as faith and religion would have an entirely different tone.  Conversely, take a man from that age and introduce him to a returning space shuttle and an astronaut in a spacesuit and he would probably write a new book of the Bible or other religious text.

For all the goodness of our faith traditions, we persist in glorifying the glass darkly and fear the ramifications of lighting the lens. And given what man has done with the knowledge he already holds, I can understand the reticence. It is the very reason that a more advanced human was knocked down a few notches at the tower of Babel and why Paul the Apostle was given a view beyond faith to the realities of the human condition and told not to write of it.

After all, if an immature race of beings is already killing each other with sticks, and you were shown the designs of an atom bomb, what responsibility would you bear for whether or not you shared that knowledge? And since we are told that there is nothing new under the sun, then when someone is given credit for something, it is not for the discovery, but for the telling.

Life is all about the when and the where and the how of the telling. Fame falls upon the who that tells. And sometimes that fame can even be called a god. But when we peer beyond the veil of labels, therein lay for us the reality that there is a force and a path of wisdom and knowledge that has been laid at the feet of all beings to discover. That some take more credit for the sake of control or influence does not diminish the path.

Some are the custodians of our growth while others seek to be empower themselves through our ignorance.  But be it for good or ill, this force will reveal the truth on an individual basis to minds that are prepared to receive it. This is the evolution of faith where substance and evidence crystallizes beyond religion.

It is a place that all of creation, known and unknown, eventually must go. But just like you cannot take a child prodigy, and give it a PhD at age 12 and expect it to be an adult, so too must those of greater awareness take custodianship of their knowledge. This why faith takes the slow lane and can be frustrating for those unaware of its true purpose.

It is also why cults and secret societies of alternate awareness such as the Illuminati are formed. As with any secret, therein lay also the seed of corruption- the temptation to believe that greater awareness justifies elevating ones’ self from custodianship to godhood.  These are the battles that have brought us Michael and Lucifer and Gabriel and other such names which are written in the folklore of every civilization and those whom we have ascribed to be gods over a universal force set in in motion by an intelligence which bears no name at all except that which we give it.

And so as I lay me down to sleep, each night I have always been keenly aware that my spirit is part of a greater existence for which I bear responsibility to learn as best I can the fundamentals whilst in this shell of a body. And that faith and discovery are tools and stepping stones for me to master greater things as my existence is worthy of more responsibility.

I recall as a child, my father placing me in a rowboat and tethering me to the dock by a long rope and giving me two oars to row to my heart’s content. When he saw that I had mastered his rowing instructions, he got into the boat with me and took me further out, introducing me to rougher waters, telling me how to anticipate and turn into oncoming waves so not to capsize the boat. He showed me how to allow inertia to carry me and not to fight the tides.

All of these lessons would prove important when I finally drove a power boat capable of reaching 100 knots on the water. Had he attempted to train me first on that motor boat, I would have killed us because I lacked the understanding to correct myself faster than the dangers ahead.

Such is the purpose of this life. Our spiritual minds are capable of tapping into such awareness that even Peter the Apostle walked on water with Jesus and Christ himself said that we have the capability of telling a mountain to move and it would.  And while the primitive mind of man has elected to worship prophets, even Christ said of himself that he came merely to show The Way.

We have within us the ability to learn the fundamentals of time and space and defying the limitations of known physics. After all, isn’t that what we call the angels do? So why would it be strange the manifestations of awareness I have known all my life except for the fact I have chosen to embrace them no different than for that brief moment when Peter reached the height of epiphany to share that walk on water with Jesus.

We are all capable of the same.  Still a little doubtful? When Christians are taught that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, it is a beautiful saying. But there is a science to prayer in the same way that some religions chant to reach a certain state of mind.

When we are fervent in our heartfelt care of one another, it is like tapping into a spiritual WiFi. We exchange information about ourselves on a level that reaches us in ways that many of us don’t understand at first because it defies how we think we should be able to communicate. Old folk with children used to call it Mother Wit-  when a woman could sense something happening to her child.

Somehow we can accept that explanation because of the special bond that a parent has. Yet we are loathe to accept it as possible in every other circumstance. But that is what prayer is. While we think we are asking God for a favor on behalf of someone because it is convenient for us to believe in the person of a God, what we are in fact doing is accessing that force which amplifies our collective love and our collective will across the “Spiritual Internet” to connect to and empower each other. It isn’t a personal answer bestowed by a benevolent being because scripture already tells us that God is no respecter of persons. Yet it is the power or force of God, if you will, that is universal to all that we each can utilize on our behalf and selflessly transcend to each other. It just makes us feel better to call it a person.

But something or someone still put that force into place. When we form bonds either by family birth or friendly choice, we implement a shared connection across that force. When we pray or there is something we receive that prompts our concern, we boost that connection.

Some of us have stronger signals than others and it remains a choice as to what we choose to receive. Those hearts and minds open to receive what I was going through at the time, did receive it and began to text me with concern. Some were professed Christians. Some were of other faiths. Some were of no professed faith at all. For those who did not reach out, there are spiritual reasons which I will address- but a professed religion does not a wise nor worthy friend make. This is where the peace I speak so often about is so important.

When the spirit speaks it is a still small voice- our signal to that force lay always quiet in the background. When we allow our peace to be disturbed or constipated by our lack of movement, or through unforgiveness, we diminish our connection to the “Spiritual WiFi”. This is why the wisdom we need in order to answer most prayers seems lacking as though “God” has not answered. We have effectively blocked ourselves from that force and the ability of others to empower us through their remote care as well.

And so the one thing I was certain of before laying down to sleep for my operation, which was evidenced by those who had magically come “online” to my plight, was that I had a tether to this life which would prove to be my greatest asset, if I should die before I wake. This is the story of how they brought me back.