is the mark of slavery
and used to justify
every no good thing against us.
You would think that because it has happened to me so many times in my life, that it wouldn’t bother me so much. Most times it does not
“One thing I want you to remember… when a man is convinced he is going to die, he will usually find a way to make it happen.”
You know we all seem so sure when we are in the presence of darkness. We usually don’t doubt it for one second. And yet how easily we dismiss the light of others in our lives or, worse still, allow others to throw shade who don’t got nothing to do with God’s purpose between you and somebody else.
Because I left my ghetto mind
Yesterday to face tomorrow
But let a white gurl holla
We had no idea of knowing that those were the innocent days that we would never see again. A time in the hearts of hopeful children when race really did not matter.
she loves at such lengths
I can’t begin
considering the chances
she will be left alone
You have to be willing to accept for yourself that you are either a new creature in Christ or you are not. Nobody else can do that for you. And once you do accept it, nobody can separate you from what that means to your new life; not even by bringing up doubts based upon your old life.
The same thing happens when we are ignorant of our history. The conclusions we draw are far from the reality of the pictures we paint in our minds.
After reading her text I was left with a question to myself: What is it about so many of us that we tend to take better care of others then we do our own selves?
By indiscriminately fomenting discord at the appearance of every white cop involved shooting of a black person, the Black Lives Matter Movement risks riding in the same clown car that produced the birther movement which launched the campaign to de-legitimize the nation’s first African American President. Black Lives Matter clearly does not know how to pick its battles, nor control the narrative of its goals,
Over the years the corner was my comfort zone, kept me cool, calm and collected. Kept me safe and content. I was a slave, my fears were the whip that kept me in line, kept me quiet.
For five years I had the honor of being a trustee to his growth- imparting to him everything that coursed through my veins. And although my blood does not flow through his, I never realized before how immaterial to him that had become.
Now I was being presented with REASON. But was it reason enough to choose to live. What would really change by turning back toward life?
It is the ultimate judgement upon its life that a soul will awaken to see the fruit born of substance that it added to existence still being remembered by those yet alive.
When we sleep, it is not for the sake of our bodies, but for the sanity of our minds. As long as we get proper nutrition and rest from physical activities, the body itself can manage without sleep, but a lack of sleep will eventually drive us insane.
When Christians are taught that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, it is a beautiful saying. But there is a science to prayer in the same way that some religions chant to reach a certain state of mind.
Mid morning came and I signed off on the papers also giving my friend authority to make decisions for me. She walked alongside my gurney toward the O.R. up until the waiting room where they told her they would come to her in about an hour to join me in recovery.
I knew not to chance it. I was warned the last time that I had been only millimeters from emergency back surgery. The nature of the situation was such that the discs could slip into the spinal cord and trigger life threatening signals to my brain and throughout my body.
People will always try to entice you to live in their past. But you have to be wise enough to know there is no future on that path.
when a white woman tells me she is into black guys, I consider it the most racist thing she could ever say to me. It is not a compliment. It is as stereotypical as watermelon and fried chicken, as if all black guys are the same just because of the color of their skin.
When dad whooped us, we knew exactly why because he never came out of his feelings with it. It was never personal except to drive home the point. There was no hug later. There was instead an expectation that he would not have to do it again.
I bless God for you being a mentor, a counselor, a big brother and so much more.
I was startled to see her half smiling but her eyes were swollen. I think she had been crying. She said “I seen you in this store shopping late for a long time now and you always have a smile and everybody says how safe they feel when you come in to shop at night because we get some pretty creepy people in here. Please don’t think I am crazy but could you pray for me?”
My son is getting married. Oh did I mention he is a big white boy from the south I met shortly after my divorce when I just needed time to find myself?
I don’t know if you realize how much of a endangered species a brother like you is compared to all the crap we usually have to put up with so I can’t blame a sister for trying
He never was violent toward me. He was always respectful. But he was so spoiled by his mama that he was lazy. It felt like other than me having a baby I was the man and I was taking care of a woman.
I don’t know how you do it and keep a positive mind or a good heart because I know I am not the only one who do what I did. I guess I can only be thankful that you keep doing what you do
Still, the question remains. If all the accusations are true, why Cosby? And why now? The most obvious answer is social media being the great equalizer against a once insurmountable power. None of these women would have had a chance to appear credible before the age of the mass community verdict which yields even greater weight than an actual court case.
The thing you need to understand first is that religion and faith are two different things. Religion requires a name and a book. Faith requires only a yearning for the wisdom of God and a willingness to accept it. Jesus said I will leave you a comforter- an inner spirit to guide you to all truths.
Caregiving was at times challenging for me because, in never having given birth to any children, I was new at not only now parenting, but at my child actually being my mother. Wow! Thank you for in a sense having co-parented with me through countless phone calls and emails.
One of my spiritually adopted kids has been having a hard time adjusting to college life. Not so much the classes but with how negative and cruel some young people can be.
I remember when I was in high school a Jamaican acapella choir came to perform and they sang a song that basically said that if you want to be happy it is better to marry a girl uglier than you. We all laughed about it. But the truth is, just like there are a lot of women who cannot handle the fact that my work exposes me to many women, there are a lot of men who avoid the drama that comes with a woman that is either too beautiful or too vain.
Do you even realize how potent your words are to a sister like me who has never imagined a brother like you existed? I have to keep telling myself this is only the internet but that excuse does not work when the words I read are so real. I don’t want you to think I am a stalker but I am so in love with the person that you are. You are my daily breath of fresh air after dealing with the majority of the male bull sh*t on this site. I would have already closed my profile by now except for the fact that I check every day at lunch to see if you posted something new.
But the man whom I thought was my father was just the opposite. A womanizer and sometimes even a thief- a non churchgoing heathen
How I ended up at that record player is an interesting story. I was too young to swim with the big kids so my dad would sit me in a tiny row boat tied to the pier. I would watch everyone swim. During one picnic my older sister thought she saw a water moccasin and yelled “SNAAAAKE!!!”.
All this leads me back to one day when he was sitting with his friends who were drinking beer- dad only drank pop. They were always finding something to bet each other on. Somehow the subject got on the subject of catching ducks.
At the time he was working as a custodian at an elementary school on a military base. Each year there were electronics that got broken and they would throw them out instead of fixing them. Dad got permission to start bringing the broken stuff home. Pretty soon I had a little shop in the bedroom I shared with my other brothers. I was hardly 10 at the time fixing record players and reel to reel tape decks..
How can you tell a child that nothing is wrong when it is a child a discerning as me? I was a bright shining reminder of everyone’s sins. It would have been easier if everyone had simply told the truth.
He just grumbled and said “ok as long as you hear me now get this cleaned up so I can take a shower.” Well it messed me up so bad that I didn’t even feel like watching the movie. I was determined to make it right so I got right to work on that bathroom.
I hated my turn. Because that always meant I was going to get stuck on the sand bar. It was a place in the middle of the bay that was only a few feet deep that boats knew to avoid. It was where dad would kick me off the boat if I missed a crab. I would have to watch him drive and dip alone and then he would come pick me up.
Those were the days where most of us black folk used to tape all our music off the radio and would be so mad when the announcers talked over it. After a while we knew which deejay to call the radio station and ask for the song and we had the nerve to even tell him we were going to record it so could he please be quiet? Wow. Those were the days.
I have the same problem with ALL promiscuous people regardless of their sexuality. It breaks my heart that they cannot love themselves enough to see how beautifully and wonderfully made their lives are. Some of your profiles make me weep when I see you half naked looking for love. But then how can you expect gay and transsexual people to act any different when half of us hate on them without even wanting to know who they are?
I am a church going lady but if I had to pay you for every time you called me out and stepped on my toes I would be broke. Sometimes it is easier to go hear a sermon than to read some of your answers to people. Not because you are mean, even though you do bring it when you need to, but because you are real.
Nobody owes you anything that you do not first owe to yourself and what you first give to yourself, no man can take away. I always say, I might die broke. I might die alone. I might die with people calling me everything but a child of God. But I will die with DIGNITY. I will not compromise who I am just so somebody else can make me feel like somebody. I am somebody because God made me somebody.
What I didn’t know is he tried to continue that fight with you online over the whole week I didn’t hear from him and how much that fight with you would bring him back to me as a very changed man. You know the rest of the story. Six months later we got married and you were there. My hubby invited you and you didn’t turn him down.
Men are very sensitive to being indebted to a woman even if he owes everything to her, the moment he feels like you would ever speak that truth or you get into an argument where you start to list anything you have done for him in anger or with an attitude, you have lost him.
You are 25 years old. You are not a child. But what you did was not something a grown woman should have done. If you still live at home, you live by the rules of that house. It don’t matter what you think is fair. If you broke those rules and tried to hide it, then they have every right to throw you out. And if they are wrong, then you still need to start making a life for yourself.
Unless you are just a vindictive person, it is in the heart of every one of us to want to forgive those who sincerely seek it. The problem is that we are also spiritually responsible to forgive those who don’t ask for it and that is a hard thing for us to comprehend because a lot of us have a twisted view of what forgiveness really is.
I have learned that love must always be embraced with the wonder of a child; that the more freely and without fear two people are able to set aside past pains, that the walls between them fall flat and become the foundation of faith and truth upon which a home is built wherein an unfailing love is eternally warmed by the fire of spirit filled wisdom.
Yes I love God. Yes I have, as Paul the Apostle also wrote “learned that whatever state I am in, therein to be content.” But I also heed to the wise words Nat King Cole immortalized in song that “the greatest thing, you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved, in return.”
I have friends who have been gay from the day they were born and have never changed their sexuality because it is not possible for them. I am just saying that the majority of folks practice a sexuality of convenience. Most of it is really a result of broken families where people are just looking for love anywhere they think they can find it…
NEO, my husband tripping cuz me and my ex are really close. I mean we got kids together so I like to know wuts going on with him so I know the kids are cool when they go stay with him. I say he being jealous and unreasonable. Am I wrong? -BELINDA
Men and women who feel safe enough to be friends often get too comfortable in that safety and start relying on each other on levels that should be reserved for mates and that is not healthy because levels of expectations are created which set the friendship up for challenges when someone finally finds a mate.
Many of us, my black azz included, who say we waiting on a good person in our lives have met plenty of people who just happen to have messed up sides to them just like we all do. And so we act like tomorrow is promised and wait years for somebody who we feel is not going to be as much work when we ourselves can be just as much a handful.
Being unequally yoked is not just a religious term, it is also a practical one. You should be able to enjoy the things you love with the person you love. It’s different if unforeseeable circumstances cause things to change but I would not deliberately put myself in a committed relationship with anyone incompatible with areas very important to me.
The time will come soon when what we call gods and angels and demons will reveal themselves for what they are and we will take our unique place among them. Mankind has been given a gift to learn about life from the ground up. By having our spirits temporarily bound to these frail bodies, we have the potential of a wisdom that will surpass others who have been so richly powerful for so long that they no longer know of love in the manner that we have been so abundantly blessed to know…
Have you ever gotten up one morning and gone through your day with a craving for something you haven’t had since you were young enough to believe that a pair of new sneakers actually made you run faster?
How come my girlfriends can be so quick to replace a man but I been single for 2 years and can’t seem to find one decent man to get with. They get mad trying to hook me up telling me I am too picky and I am alone because I want to be. Neo that is not true. The guys they deal with think that if they sex you good and give you money you should be happy and I need more than that.
As the boys ran off with the cart, my son tapped my leg and said “but daddy we don’t have money to eat. Why are you giving them your money?” And I said “baby we don’t have money, but you got me, and we got God. Most of these kids only got their mama. If they can make money honest then they won’t steal from the store. They won’t go to jail. And they won’t steal from us.” I don’t know how much my son understood but he accepted my answer.
In my experience, where masturbation becomes dangerous is when it escalates and sustains desires toward someone you have no moral justification to ever be with that way. It ramps things up to the point where if given the opportunity, you will involve yourself with a situation unhealthy to your spirit. Only the individual knows when this is true.
I do get weary sometimes when so many cry for help but really don’t want the help that is best for them. I’m sure it won’t change what I do the next time a situation like this comes up. I never could really keep myself from diving in heart first sometimes. But every once in a while, on days like this, I miss the feel of loving arms around me with smiling eyes that say, even though I already know… that at least I tried.
I had a troubled friend ask me today, In the end what difference does it really make to pray when god is not listening anyway, if he even exists at all…
I awake to see my blackened face in the mirror and ask myself what shall we wear today? a touch of white? or perhaps half tone, or would it be impolite to be black to the bone and chance losing my life simply walking home…
I have heard many women say and listened as they have been told to “wait on tha lawd” for a good man. But I think there is a lot of confusion as to what that really means. We are drawn to Bible stories of prophets and angels and people being told where to go and when. But that was then and this is now. Plus not everything man interprets as God is really God even if it is written in the book you call the Bible. God is not in the matchmaking business. God does not specifically choose to raise up or send a man to you. As much as it makes people feel good to want to believe that, you need to understand that God is not a respecter of persons no more than the rain or snow chooses not to fall on you when you forget your umbrella or your coat.
Just because we have a right to say or want something don’t always make it the wisest thing to say or do. At the same time there is nothing wrong with saying what you find attractive as long as you understand that the outward appearance does not define the character of the person inside. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder but is truly only skin deep while ugliness runs to the bone. The world will never truly be color blind, but you also can’t afford to be stuck on color stupid such that you overlook blessings standing right in front of you.
I used to teach in my counseling classes that there is a reason that a lifeguard throws you a life ring. Because a panicked person can’t drown a life ring but they can drown YOU. I don’t care how strong a swimmer you are, you can’t drink that much water fighting somebody you trying to save. That’s also why the first thing a rescuer says when running into a situation by themselves is “Call 911”. That is for several reasons. In case the person don’t grab on to the life ring. In case the person drown. In case the person drown you. And in case you got to bust them upside the head in order to save them. The time of rescue is not the time for relationships.
It kind of reminds me of that scene from the Matrix Trilogy when The Oracle says “We can never see past the choices we don’t understand” and Neo says “Are you saying I have to choose whether Trinity lives or dies?” and The Oracle replies “No, you’ve already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.” So many of our choices that have led to stress in our lives were made long ago. The stress is in understanding why. Once we begin this process of discovery, we can start to have peace through knowing what needs to change and how to change it if only within ourselves.
NEO why is it so hard to find a man who ain’t just full of lies? I mean they step at you like they got it all together and as soon as you close you find out they just fake?