Et tu Mater? (You Too Mama?)
That word
is the mark of slavery
and used to justify
every no good thing against us.
Keep The Change
You would think that because it has happened to me so many times in my life, that it wouldn’t bother me so much. Most times it does not
In Return
Show me a drunkenness of self respect sweeter
than the smell Moscato sweating from your pores.
Suicide by Friendship
“One thing I want you to remember… when a man is convinced he is going to die, he will usually find a way to make it happen.”
Chances Are
I don’t know if they teach this anymore but this is what I was taught in college years ago. Each time you have sex with someone, they leave a part of their DNA inside you.
A LETTER: In The Shade of The Son
You know we all seem so sure when we are in the presence of darkness. We usually don’t doubt it for one second. And yet how easily we dismiss the light of others in our lives or, worse still, allow others to throw shade who don’t got nothing to do with God’s purpose between you and somebody else.
(NO) LOVE ALWAYS
Because I left my ghetto mind
Yesterday to face tomorrow
WTF?
But let a white gurl holla
A LETTER: From Home
We had no idea of knowing that those were the innocent days that we would never see again. A time in the hearts of hopeful children when race really did not matter.
Inquire Within
she loves at such lengths
I can’t begin
to understand
considering the chances
she will be left alone
again
A LETTER: Facing Faith, Family, & Fear
You have to be willing to accept for yourself that you are either a new creature in Christ or you are not. Nobody else can do that for you. And once you do accept it, nobody can separate you from what that means to your new life; not even by bringing up doubts based upon your old life.
Black Lives Chatter
The same thing happens when we are ignorant of our history. The conclusions we draw are far from the reality of the pictures we paint in our minds.
Some 411 Before Your Next 911
After reading her text I was left with a question to myself: What is it about so many of us that we tend to take better care of others then we do our own selves?
BLACK LIVES MATTER BEGINS AT CONCEPTION
By indiscriminately fomenting discord at the appearance of every white cop involved shooting of a black person, the Black Lives Matter Movement risks riding in the same clown car that produced the birther movement which launched the campaign to de-legitimize the nation’s first African American President. Black Lives Matter clearly does not know how to pick its battles, nor control the narrative of its goals,
Another Reason Why I’ll Probably Never Get Laid Again and I Don’t Care… LOL
A physical compliment alone will never be enough for me to assume responsibility of a conversation nor do I believe it should be expected at this point in history whether it is from a man or a woman.
A Letter: Confessions from a True Friend
Over the years the corner was my comfort zone, kept me cool, calm and collected. Kept me safe and content. I was a slave, my fears were the whip that kept me in line, kept me quiet.
Empty Nest
For five years I had the honor of being a trustee to his growth- imparting to him everything that coursed through my veins. And although my blood does not flow through his, I never realized before how immaterial to him that had become.
PART VI: A Postscript- My Journey Home
Now I was being presented with REASON. But was it reason enough to choose to live. What would really change by turning back toward life?
PART V: And Miles To Go Before I Sleep
It is the ultimate judgement upon its life that a soul will awaken to see the fruit born of substance that it added to existence still being remembered by those yet alive.
New Good Ole Days
Is this the new etiquette
for these kinds of thangs
get wet at a profile visit
and invite a ne-gro to bang
So Lo
I’m not sayin u can’t change,
but wut da hell u think it look lyk
wen you postin u lookin fa a dude
dat can keep u maintained?
PART IV: ReBoot
When we sleep, it is not for the sake of our bodies, but for the sanity of our minds. As long as we get proper nutrition and rest from physical activities, the body itself can manage without sleep, but a lack of sleep will eventually drive us insane.
Gone to The Dawgs
Now they even going as far as posting pics wearing dog ears and dog noses and they have no idea what that is really saying about who we are. It ain’t cute. It ain’t funny.
PART III: If I Should Die Before I Wake
When Christians are taught that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, it is a beautiful saying. But there is a science to prayer in the same way that some religions chant to reach a certain state of mind.
PART II: On The Day I Died
Mid morning came and I signed off on the papers also giving my friend authority to make decisions for me. She walked alongside my gurney toward the O.R. up until the waiting room where they told her they would come to her in about an hour to join me in recovery.
PART I: I Guess You Wonder Where I’ve Been
I knew not to chance it. I was warned the last time that I had been only millimeters from emergency back surgery. The nature of the situation was such that the discs could slip into the spinal cord and trigger life threatening signals to my brain and throughout my body.
So Are You…
People will always try to entice you to live in their past. But you have to be wise enough to know there is no future on that path.
A Letter I Sent Today To a White Girl Trying to Hit Me Up
when a white woman tells me she is into black guys, I consider it the most racist thing she could ever say to me. It is not a compliment. It is as stereotypical as watermelon and fried chicken, as if all black guys are the same just because of the color of their skin.
Time to Keep It One Hunnit Peeps
My mama respected the fact that somebody gave us a chance when we had nothing. Now most people just live like it’s a gimmee. And you wonder why these racist clowns and politicians be throwing shade.
The Seeds of Forgiveness are Rooted in Accountability
When dad whooped us, we knew exactly why because he never came out of his feelings with it. It was never personal except to drive home the point. There was no hug later. There was instead an expectation that he would not have to do it again.
The Ties That Bind
NEO, I am so amazed the things you write about so openly. I am learning so much about myself even while I am learning about you. You are such a strong brutha. You don’t have fans Neo it seems like you have such a big online family. I can tell all of this is...Fatherhood Stories: ComeAlong Home- The Last Day of Laughter
Fatherhood Stories: Come-along Home- The last Day of Laughter Daddy and his friends were what they called, shade tree mechanics. They loved to tinker with motors of old cars. But as poor black folk, they didn’t have garages and lifts or most of the tools rich...Oh How We Danced- In Memory Of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine
A piece of my childhood passed away this week. I guess we all are a little guilty of liking some of the stupidest shows to ever appear on television but nobody of my generation will ever hear the first few bars of Count Basie’s “Jumpin’ at the...THANKS NEO: You Are An Inspiration to So Many
I bless God for you being a mentor, a counselor, a big brother and so much more.
Sweet Aisle of Prayer
I was startled to see her half smiling but her eyes were swollen. I think she had been crying. She said “I seen you in this store shopping late for a long time now and you always have a smile and everybody says how safe they feel when you come in to shop at night because we get some pretty creepy people in here. Please don’t think I am crazy but could you pray for me?”
Fatherhood Stories: My Son Is Getting Married
My son is getting married. Oh did I mention he is a big white boy from the south I met shortly after my divorce when I just needed time to find myself?
It’s Not Easy
Over the past year I have gotten many letters asking me what it is like being the one with answers for so many people who come to me for advice and how does it affect my life. The hardest part about being who I am is how much I hate being right. In my book EPIPHANY:...A LETTER: What Motivates Neo?
NEO, I just read a post about the blessing you have been to single moms. I am new to your page and to your writing and I just want to say God bless you. I also looked at your website and I see I have a lot of catching up to do. I have been blessed by what I have read...The Lonely Sleep
THE LONELY SLEEP -by Neo Blaqness In quiet dark when night is deep flickering sounds for company keep unheard by ears adrift in space dreaming whilst yet still awake of someone in that empty place inside and beside your pillow’s reach this is how the lonely...THANKS NEO: And Upbraideth Not
I don’t know if you realize how much of a endangered species a brother like you is compared to all the crap we usually have to put up with so I can’t blame a sister for trying
A LETTER: I Kicked Him Out for Not Manning Up
He never was violent toward me. He was always respectful. But he was so spoiled by his mama that he was lazy. It felt like other than me having a baby I was the man and I was taking care of a woman.
THANKS NEO: Reflecting Upon an Old Year with New Understanding
I don’t know how you do it and keep a positive mind or a good heart because I know I am not the only one who do what I did. I guess I can only be thankful that you keep doing what you do
Bill Cosby In Contemporary Black Context -by Neo Blaqness
Still, the question remains. If all the accusations are true, why Cosby? And why now? The most obvious answer is social media being the great equalizer against a once insurmountable power. None of these women would have had a chance to appear credible before the age of the mass community verdict which yields even greater weight than an actual court case.
Baby Sings The Blues
BABY SINGS THE BLUES by Neo Blaqness I often ask myself the same about women that women ask about guys when given a chance to tell the truth from the beginning why do we choose to lie and make all kinds of excuses about not wanting to cause confusion over the feelings...A Lament of Blaqness
A LAMENT OF BLAQNESS by Neo Blaqness I am saddened by my sistahs who don’t know their worth, who define themselves by how much attention they can get toward their bodies and not for being somebody as mothers of the earth. I am burdened by my bruthas who...A LETTER: Reasoning, Religion & Repentance
The thing you need to understand first is that religion and faith are two different things. Religion requires a name and a book. Faith requires only a yearning for the wisdom of God and a willingness to accept it. Jesus said I will leave you a comforter- an inner spirit to guide you to all truths.
THANKS NEO: In Memory of Mama & Me
Caregiving was at times challenging for me because, in never having given birth to any children, I was new at not only now parenting, but at my child actually being my mother. Wow! Thank you for in a sense having co-parented with me through countless phone calls and emails.
Village Parenting @ Work
One of my spiritually adopted kids has been having a hard time adjusting to college life. Not so much the classes but with how negative and cruel some young people can be.
A LETTER: But Ugliness Runs To The Bone
I remember when I was in high school a Jamaican acapella choir came to perform and they sang a song that basically said that if you want to be happy it is better to marry a girl uglier than you. We all laughed about it. But the truth is, just like there are a lot of women who cannot handle the fact that my work exposes me to many women, there are a lot of men who avoid the drama that comes with a woman that is either too beautiful or too vain.
THANKS NEO: You Are Changing Lives That You Don’t Even Know
Do you even realize how potent your words are to a sister like me who has never imagined a brother like you existed? I have to keep telling myself this is only the internet but that excuse does not work when the words I read are so real. I don’t want you to think I am a stalker but I am so in love with the person that you are. You are my daily breath of fresh air after dealing with the majority of the male bull sh*t on this site. I would have already closed my profile by now except for the fact that I check every day at lunch to see if you posted something new.
FatherHood Stories: The Heathen, The Holy, and The Hypocrite
But the man whom I thought was my father was just the opposite. A womanizer and sometimes even a thief- a non churchgoing heathen
FatherHood Stories: Almost Gone
How I ended up at that record player is an interesting story. I was too young to swim with the big kids so my dad would sit me in a tiny row boat tied to the pier. I would watch everyone swim. During one picnic my older sister thought she saw a water moccasin and yelled “SNAAAAKE!!!”.
FatherHood Stories: What The Duck?
All this leads me back to one day when he was sitting with his friends who were drinking beer- dad only drank pop. They were always finding something to bet each other on. Somehow the subject got on the subject of catching ducks.
FatherHood Stories: Presents of Mind
At the time he was working as a custodian at an elementary school on a military base. Each year there were electronics that got broken and they would throw them out instead of fixing them. Dad got permission to start bringing the broken stuff home. Pretty soon I had a little shop in the bedroom I shared with my other brothers. I was hardly 10 at the time fixing record players and reel to reel tape decks..
FatherHood Stories: The Fruit of a Lie
How can you tell a child that nothing is wrong when it is a child a discerning as me? I was a bright shining reminder of everyone’s sins. It would have been easier if everyone had simply told the truth.
FatherHood Stories: Oh Lawd I Coulda Killed Them
He just grumbled and said “ok as long as you hear me now get this cleaned up so I can take a shower.” Well it messed me up so bad that I didn’t even feel like watching the movie. I was determined to make it right so I got right to work on that bathroom.
FatherHood Stories: Passing The Bar
I hated my turn. Because that always meant I was going to get stuck on the sand bar. It was a place in the middle of the bay that was only a few feet deep that boats knew to avoid. It was where dad would kick me off the boat if I missed a crab. I would have to watch him drive and dip alone and then he would come pick me up.
FatherHood Stories: The Music Within Me
Those were the days where most of us black folk used to tape all our music off the radio and would be so mad when the announcers talked over it. After a while we knew which deejay to call the radio station and ask for the song and we had the nerve to even tell him we were going to record it so could he please be quiet? Wow. Those were the days.
A LETTER: The Sexuality of Love
I have the same problem with ALL promiscuous people regardless of their sexuality. It breaks my heart that they cannot love themselves enough to see how beautifully and wonderfully made their lives are. Some of your profiles make me weep when I see you half naked looking for love. But then how can you expect gay and transsexual people to act any different when half of us hate on them without even wanting to know who they are?
Love and Trust
“I have said this in many ways before but it bears repeating. Life is not about trusting others. It is about trusting yourself to know what is right for you. Most times we are hurt by the lies we tell to our own face, more than the lies of others. So if you...A LETTER: I Gets Lonely
NEO, you a man that got it together. Sometimes I wonder do you ever feel as lonely as me or empty like I feel without a mans? Sometimes I am tempted to let somebody come over but I done that in the past I end up with a baby all by myself everytime. I gets so lonely...THANKS NEO: After All This Time I Think I Finally Get It
I am a church going lady but if I had to pay you for every time you called me out and stepped on my toes I would be broke. Sometimes it is easier to go hear a sermon than to read some of your answers to people. Not because you are mean, even though you do bring it when you need to, but because you are real.
An Awakening Moment from Sweet L
Sometimes God sends you a message through people in a way that you never expect. I get a lot of stuff sent to me and, most of the time it is an old skool song that someone around my age is just sharing to everybody, or a gospel artist they wanted to share in response...A LETTER: My Life is in Ruins and I Have Even Contemplated Suicide
Nobody owes you anything that you do not first owe to yourself and what you first give to yourself, no man can take away. I always say, I might die broke. I might die alone. I might die with people calling me everything but a child of God. But I will die with DIGNITY. I will not compromise who I am just so somebody else can make me feel like somebody. I am somebody because God made me somebody.
THANKS NEO: Thank You Neo for My Anniversary
What I didn’t know is he tried to continue that fight with you online over the whole week I didn’t hear from him and how much that fight with you would bring him back to me as a very changed man. You know the rest of the story. Six months later we got married and you were there. My hubby invited you and you didn’t turn him down.
Don’t You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me Baby
I was doing my usual rounds on YouTube today and thought I would catch a little bit of Luther Vandross. I was halfway through enjoying one of my favorite songs of his when this completely ignorant youngin had the nerve to call Luther over-rated saying he ain’t...A LETTER: Why Do I Keep Cleaning Up Men Only For Them To Get With Other Women
Men are very sensitive to being indebted to a woman even if he owes everything to her, the moment he feels like you would ever speak that truth or you get into an argument where you start to list anything you have done for him in anger or with an attitude, you have lost him.
wELCOME TO nEO’S wORLD
You are 25 years old. You are not a child. But what you did was not something a grown woman should have done. If you still live at home, you live by the rules of that house. It don’t matter what you think is fair. If you broke those rules and tried to hide it, then they have every right to throw you out. And if they are wrong, then you still need to start making a life for yourself.
Speaking of Ray Rice
The Ray Rice situation has been on my heart for a while. In everything you read, I have been an advocate for women. And yet the most horrific experience in my life was being arrested and charged with domestic violence. I was unknowingly with a mentally unstable woman...And Forgive Us Our Trespasses- The Truth About Forgiveness
Unless you are just a vindictive person, it is in the heart of every one of us to want to forgive those who sincerely seek it. The problem is that we are also spiritually responsible to forgive those who don’t ask for it and that is a hard thing for us to comprehend because a lot of us have a twisted view of what forgiveness really is.
Real Fears No Competition
NEO, I am not too proud to admit I would be scared to date somebody like you . I would feel like there is too much competition all the time. -VETTE MY REPLY: I remember Chris Rock making the joke that even J.J. from Good Times could get any girl he wanted. That was a...A LETTER: I Think I Chased Him Away
I have learned that love must always be embraced with the wonder of a child; that the more freely and without fear two people are able to set aside past pains, that the walls between them fall flat and become the foundation of faith and truth upon which a home is built wherein an unfailing love is eternally warmed by the fire of spirit filled wisdom.
Love and Loneliness: Nature Boy Revisted
Yes I love God. Yes I have, as Paul the Apostle also wrote “learned that whatever state I am in, therein to be content.” But I also heed to the wise words Nat King Cole immortalized in song that “the greatest thing, you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved, in return.”
A Birthday to Remember
Each year I am asked “so what are you doing for your birthday” . Usually nothing. As a child, I once did, but that joy was quickly taken away from me. I didn’t know I was the dirty little family secret nobody wanted to talk about. The only problem...A LETTER: A Straight Answer To A Gay Question
I have friends who have been gay from the day they were born and have never changed their sexuality because it is not possible for them. I am just saying that the majority of folks practice a sexuality of convenience. Most of it is really a result of broken families where people are just looking for love anywhere they think they can find it…
A LETTER: The Over-Befriending of Exes
NEO, my husband tripping cuz me and my ex are really close. I mean we got kids together so I like to know wuts going on with him so I know the kids are cool when they go stay with him. I say he being jealous and unreasonable. Am I wrong? -BELINDA
A LETTER: Straight Talk About Men and Women as Friends
Men and women who feel safe enough to be friends often get too comfortable in that safety and start relying on each other on levels that should be reserved for mates and that is not healthy because levels of expectations are created which set the friendship up for challenges when someone finally finds a mate.
What Are You Waiting For
Many of us, my black azz included, who say we waiting on a good person in our lives have met plenty of people who just happen to have messed up sides to them just like we all do. And so we act like tomorrow is promised and wait years for somebody who we feel is not going to be as much work when we ourselves can be just as much a handful.
A LETTER: Being Criticized for Having Preferences
Being unequally yoked is not just a religious term, it is also a practical one. You should be able to enjoy the things you love with the person you love. It’s different if unforeseeable circumstances cause things to change but I would not deliberately put myself in a committed relationship with anyone incompatible with areas very important to me.
Y’all Betta Recognize: The New Civil Rights Generation
Those of us over 40 grew up at a time when you had to remember phone numbers, when calculators were a luxury, and when having good cursive writing penmanship was the sign of a decent education. Now our minds are lazy with contact lists, spell check, and dumbed down...A Question of Good and Evil: An Ever Evolving Epiphany
The time will come soon when what we call gods and angels and demons will reveal themselves for what they are and we will take our unique place among them. Mankind has been given a gift to learn about life from the ground up. By having our spirits temporarily bound to these frail bodies, we have the potential of a wisdom that will surpass others who have been so richly powerful for so long that they no longer know of love in the manner that we have been so abundantly blessed to know…
Blame It On The Tiger
Have you ever gotten up one morning and gone through your day with a craving for something you haven’t had since you were young enough to believe that a pair of new sneakers actually made you run faster?
A LETTER: How Come Everybody Can Get A Man But Me?
How come my girlfriends can be so quick to replace a man but I been single for 2 years and can’t seem to find one decent man to get with. They get mad trying to hook me up telling me I am too picky and I am alone because I want to be. Neo that is not true. The guys they deal with think that if they sex you good and give you money you should be happy and I need more than that.
A Ram In The Bush
So tonight I thought I would do something I have done rarely for the past few years and that is to go for some fast food. If you have been around reading for a while you know that I love to cook. When I was married I did the food shopping and most of the cooking and...Fatherhood Stories: Watching How You Walk
As the boys ran off with the cart, my son tapped my leg and said “but daddy we don’t have money to eat. Why are you giving them your money?” And I said “baby we don’t have money, but you got me, and we got God. Most of these kids only got their mama. If they can make money honest then they won’t steal from the store. They won’t go to jail. And they won’t steal from us.” I don’t know how much my son understood but he accepted my answer.
Someone Asks, Is Masturbation a Sin?
In my experience, where masturbation becomes dangerous is when it escalates and sustains desires toward someone you have no moral justification to ever be with that way. It ramps things up to the point where if given the opportunity, you will involve yourself with a situation unhealthy to your spirit. Only the individual knows when this is true.
Deja Who
DEJA WHO by Neo Blaqness Maybe in your mind it was nuthin but a thing another midnight booty call unworthy of a ring and maybe the only thing she thought was about getting high and getting off but that don’t excuse either of you for what 9 months later would...THANKS NEO: Sometimes All You Can Do Is Try
I do get weary sometimes when so many cry for help but really don’t want the help that is best for them. I’m sure it won’t change what I do the next time a situation like this comes up. I never could really keep myself from diving in heart first sometimes. But every once in a while, on days like this, I miss the feel of loving arms around me with smiling eyes that say, even though I already know… that at least I tried.
Uncrossed
I had a troubled friend ask me today, In the end what difference does it really make to pray when god is not listening anyway, if he even exists at all…
Ice Capades
ICE CAPADES by Neo Blaqness I have met so few of us who know what it is to be truly loved instead of being used and tossed aside cruelly abused by a Jekyll and Hyde or an unwitting victim of someone’s bipolar side or just next up to be kissed on a never ending...Promise Free
PROMISE FREEby Neo Blaqness–I’m not looking for a forever love because we are only promised this day we know nothing of tomorrow no matter what we think for if you say you truly love me I accept that for today if you don’t live up to it tomorrow you...Veritas
VERITAS by Neo Blaqness Restless minds which cannot sleep belong to lives bereft of dreams occupied by unsolved pains and worries of what dawn may bring stare they deep into the night to no avail seek they the light the evidence for which they wait hope unseen...By Any Means
I’m not asking permission
to walk down the street
I’m not asking permission
for the company I keep
I’m not asking permission
for the car that I drive
I’m not asking permission
to simply be alive
THANKS NEO: Confessions of A Mother Hen
NEO, I prayed you be alright when I read you was in the hospital. When you was back home I felt relieved. Maybe it the mother hen in me but I imagine me taking your phone and pushing people away from your door so you could get the rest you need. You have a way of...Fulfilling The Mission
During my freshman year, as an undergraduate English and Education Major, I was a very serious student- a little too serious for most. Even I had to laugh when reading the letter that is in the Ask Dr Blaqness section of my website called “Speechless” when...Her Last Breath (for Maya Angelou)
HER LAST BREATH (A Tribute to Maya Angelou) by Neo Blaqness At break of day a new whisper was added to the wind like so many others that tickle the follicles of our mind’s ear when we need reminding of those timeless things that should be present in our thoughts...No Tights Required
I have always been accused of having my father’s stubborn discipline and my mother’s relentless heart. I suppose, for a man, that can make for a dangerous combination. I grew up watching my mother do so much for others when we had so much less. Less money....Book Cover
BOOK COVER by Neo Blaqness I read the cover of your book and some things can’t be denied by the way your pictures look all azz and tits drunk lookin high and the title that you chose Mz-Thyk-Wet-Phat-Juicy-Thighs now what do you propose we supposed to think of...Full House
FULL HOUSE by Neo Blaqness Do you ever wonder like I do had we met before I became me and you became you bound to the places our lives have brought us to and all the ups and downs that we have come through would there really be a chance for a me and you instead of...SPEAKIN MAH PEACE (Inspired by a Letter)
SPEAKIN MAH PEACE (Inspired by a Letter) by Neo Blaqness I know this may sound a bit forward but would you mind if I sleep with you? I know you thinkin I dun lost my mind but it isn’t that at all but what I find whenever I am close to you even online I’m...Weren’t They?
I awake to see my blackened face in the mirror and ask myself what shall we wear today? a touch of white? or perhaps half tone, or would it be impolite to be black to the bone and chance losing my life simply walking home…