I am trying to say this without making someone who already feels bad, feel even worse. But if you go to bed with a man and you have never seen the inside of his house to know how he really lives, never talked to anybody that he considers close to him, or never been to his job or knows where he works, and he always hanging out at your place or someplace other than where people know him, and you find out later on that he is married or living with somebody, do not blame the man for lying to you.

You should stop being so desperate that you are willing to accept getting into situations where you don’t want to know the truth. I just don’t think you women are that stupid. But I do think some of you are delusional enough to believe you can give a man your body and your money and think that is enough to make him change the situation he in and all you end up doing is hurting yourself because even if he do leave one situation for you, he already showed you what kind of man he is.

If a man online claims to be really feeling you, then don’t meet him at the club on the first date, offer to meet him for lunch on a weekday close to his job. If he work construction, then have lunch at a hot dog stand. Don’t be so siddity. If he don’t want you around that close, you know something is up. And if he offers to come see you at your place, that is a two way street. Flip the script and say, no but why don’t I meet you at your place and we can drive to dinner or a movie together.

If you don’t drive, catch a cab or catch a ride, but do not get in deep without knowing where he lives and making sure he is comfortable with you knowing. If he not, then why the hell would you be comfortable giving him your body? And speaking of body, let’s put all the Holy talk aside for a minute because you gonna do what you gonna do whether you go to church or not. That’s between you and your conscience but If you gonna sleep with a man for the first time that you claim to love, it shouldn’t be in a hotel. It shouldn’t be in your bed. It should be in his. If he don’t want to take the chance of family, neighbors, friends, or coworkers knowing he with you, or he tries to rush you out the door too soon, or he pretends that you are so important that he won’t answer the phone or the door whenever you around, or he don’t ever seem to call you unless he is totally alone and you never hear his family or friends in the background when he talking to you, or he only tries to be close to you when he is out of sight of other people, FOR GOD SAKE DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!

And be very careful getting too caught up with anybody online that you have not met or know well enough to keep in contact with offline. Stop falling in love with people you got to wait to hear from. When it is serious enough to really be that kind of love, you won’t need to look for the little green light in order to communicate. It is too easy for someone to pack up all the personal information you give about yourself and ride off into the sunset and it happens ALL THE TIME. There needs to be a cut off point to how far you let your emotions go or what you talk about without meeting that person. Nobody is saying to be paranoid or non trusting. Just use common sense and be wise. And since so many of yall haven’t really had the kind a home life for these things to be common sense anymore, I figure somebody has to say it. -Neo Blaqness