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Thats My Mama

From the Old Skool TV Show

NEO, I prayed you be alright when I read you was in the hospital. When you was back home I felt relieved. Maybe it the mother hen in me but I imagine me taking your phone and pushing people away from your door so you could get the rest you need. You have a way of making somebody protect of you. You can be stubborn as any man but not in a selfish way. It make it hard to stay mad when I think you being too hard on somebody. I read enough to know that you care even when it is tough love. Here you just got out the hospital and today you was back in it trying to help somebody.

It like you wrote I think you got the best of your mama heart and your daddy strength. It made me stopand wonder today why such a good man don’t got a good woman. I always like to say I am a good woman but I had to admit that a man like you is scary to me. Not in a bad way like you might hurt me but in a way that I would be scared of being a stumble block. I stop and think today after reading about that young lady. What if I did fuss and try to take away your phone or computer or turn somebody away from your door? I mean I thought thas what a good woman would do when her man is sick. Everything I thought I know about being a good woman not the same when I look at how you are as a man.

Now I see why all your female friends stay friends. I would be so scared to mess you up and lose such a precious friend no matter how much I care about you. I can read and admire all the time you give to so many people and I wonder if you ever sleep sometimes. Im not sure how much of that I could handle as a woman in your life and I understand now how special these women are who have to stand by men who got a real call on they life. It easy to be atracted to a man like that but if I already was worried when you was in the hospital I would be a wreck trying to keep quiet when you was helping that young lady today. But when you ask us to pray, I prayed and I ask God to answer quick so you could get back to resting.

I see God make us wise enough to know what we can handle and he bless you with good friends. But I hope somewhere out there he bless you with somebody with the courage and faith to be next to you. I know you a strong man but I still dont like that you have to get well all by yourslef at home. Sorry but like I sais I am a mother hen and sense you let us in on your heart I feel I got a right to care, lol. -LUCRECIA

MY REPLY: You mother hens have done more to mend me this week than I can find the right words to explain. And yes you can get overprotective. I like to think that I am not foolish enough to jeopardize my life needlessly but I also take to heart that “greater love has no man than this- that he would give his life for his friends.” No matter my health, if my spirit leads me to step up, then I will stand and whatever happens believe there is a purpose to it even if it is beyond my immediate understanding. And that is a lot to ask a woman in my life to accept just on my say so. To a woman who loves me, my ways can seem reckless without care of consequence when for me I do things with a faithful assurance of spirit. I cannot place blame on the women who tried but felt they could not stand with me because we are all, with the exception of my ex who remains in my prayers, still very close friends who I can call on for prayerful support in a way that they could not give while trying to be with me. I get told by many women the very same reason- that they fear being a stumbling block. And I understand because the weight I carry for the gifts I have are not easy even for me everyday. But my faith remains that someone someday will find within themselves an unquestionable certainty, that they were made to be that person by my side and simply take their place. And for everyone else, I rejoice in them exactly where they are in my life as I do you. Thank you so much for your care. -NEO