NEO, you a man that got it together. Sometimes I wonder do you ever feel as lonely as me or empty like I feel without a mans? Sometimes I am tempted to let somebody come over but I done that in the past I end up with a baby all by myself everytime. I gets so lonely Neo. I been meaning to ask you for a long time but you seem to have it under control I wonder do you really know how I feel? –PORTIA W.
MY REPLY: Really? You really gone make me go there? Ok. If it helps you I will. But I will probably be a mess when I am done.
I get lonely in the morning and there is no one for me to surprise with a great breakfast or kids begging me to watch a cartoon with them I really don’t want to watch but do anyway.
I get lonely when I am sitting for long hours at my desk or writing music on my keyboards and there is no one to yell at for making too much noise and breaking my concentration.
I get lonely when my assistant brings her youngest over who bugs the crap out of me for attention to the point where I want to scream, until after she closes the door to say goodbye.
I get lonely at every meal that I cook where there is left overs.
I get lonely getting into my very warm and comfortable heated bed in the winter when there are no cold feet giggling trying to warm them self against my body.
I get lonely when I have a great day and want to call someone and tell them all about it.
I get lonely when I think about wanting to surprise someone at work and make her the envy of all her coworkers.
I get lonely when I see a single mom walking alone with a look of worry on her face.
I get lonely when I see a profile of a pregnant woman online and her status is single.
I get lonely when you invite me into your world and your problems the moment after I finish hitting send on my answer.
I get lonely at the sight of fallen leaves and no one to hide under them with.
I get lonely in deep winter snow when the child in me has no playmate in the chill of it nor in the warmth of bed afterward.
I get lonely in an evening winter fire’s glow listening to jazz in the dark when I don’t have to take the back pillows off the couch to make room for another body.
I get lonely when the shower water caresses my back instead of the hands of the person behind me.
I get lonely when my breath is so funky in the morning and there is no one with breath just as funky there ready to kiss me anyway.
I get lonely doing laundry when there is no reason to wash the sheets.
I get lonely shopping not having to buy feminine napkins or panty liners.
I get lonely when the head asking for advice is not resting upon my chest.
I get lonely every time I am blessed and can’t come home with bags of surprises.
I get lonely seeing pampers in the checkout lane in front of me.
I get lonely when the ingredients I need to make my cakes from scratch expire.
There are many reasons to feel lonely Portia. But I cannot say I have ever felt truly alone.
I have learned that the cost of compromise is best avoided by counting your blessings. And as long as you can break even now and then, you are doing pretty good.
But one day I hope to have my personal ThanksGiving Day followed by Black Friday, when that sistah finally takes my life over the top. We can each only hope. -NEO