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I was also one of the women who reached out to you for help this year. I sent you a question just because I wanted to see if you would respond. I thought it was a good way to get your attention. I really wasn’t looking for a answer. I was looking to see if I could get you to start talking to me for real. It took you less than a minute to see right through me.

Of course when you called me on it I denied it and call myself getting mad at you and calling you names to take the attention off me. I look back at it now and I see how childish I was. I also see why it is so hard for you to be with somebody Neo because I got so defensive and negative just because you was right in everything you said I was doing. I got kicked of your profile for the way I acted and I deserved it. But I kept coming to your website and reading. I saw parts of me in alot of the women who write you. I saw how some listen. I saw how some was hard headed like me. And I saw how some just wasn’t ready to hear what you was saying. But I also saw that even when you had to be hard there was love even if it was tough love.

Maybe its like you wrote that I never had a father in my life so I never really had a man put me in my place who was right. And all the men I ever been with I end up having to set them straight. You the first man in my whole life who ever challenge me and I didn’t know how to handle it and I am so sorry. I read so much all the things you do and the kids of the single moms you help with and I always wonder why none of them never snatch you up. Now I understand because if I couldn’t handle you telling me something honest about myself how could you expect me to be a good woman in your life?

I wasn’t anywhere ready to be with a man like you. But you made me start taking a hard look at the kind of man I was allowing to use me when I thought I was getting over. I was only playing games with myself just like I was with you. You are a special man Neo and the woman for you I already know will have to be extra special because you belong to so many people who look to learn from you about things we never got growing up.

I don’t know how you do it and keep a positive mind or a good heart because I know I am not the only one who do what I did. I guess I can only be thankful that you keep doing what you do and I turned my sister and a couple of my cousins on to you and they say some things you wrote change they life. I just wanted to tell you that. Neo I was wrong and I want you to know the kind of respect I have for you as a black man. You are so rare that it is hard sometimes for us to believe you for real. I had my heart broke a few times since I acted that way with you and each time I came to your website and it help me. I didn’t want this year to end without saying I am sorry. -SHANICE

MY REPLY: Apology accepted. Every experience is an opportunity to grow and not all growth comes easy. The older we get, the more painful it is to face the kinds of necessary changes that have been covered up by years of doing things the same way. People are often called heroes who go out and fight for the freedom of others. And that may well be. But I think it is the stronger person who has first learned to free themselves, who is most qualified to understand how to lead others to freedom. And it appears to me that you are on your way. Bless you always. -NEO