Keep The Change
You would think that because it has happened to me so many times in my life, that it wouldn’t bother me so much. Most times it does not
PART VI: A Postscript- My Journey Home
Now I was being presented with REASON. But was it reason enough to choose to live. What would really change by turning back toward life?
PART V: And Miles To Go Before I Sleep
It is the ultimate judgement upon its life that a soul will awaken to see the fruit born of substance that it added to existence still being remembered by those yet alive.
PART IV: ReBoot
When we sleep, it is not for the sake of our bodies, but for the sanity of our minds. As long as we get proper nutrition and rest from physical activities, the body itself can manage without sleep, but a lack of sleep will eventually drive us insane.
PART III: If I Should Die Before I Wake
When Christians are taught that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, it is a beautiful saying. But there is a science to prayer in the same way that some religions chant to reach a certain state of mind.
PART II: On The Day I Died
Mid morning came and I signed off on the papers also giving my friend authority to make decisions for me. She walked alongside my gurney toward the O.R. up until the waiting room where they told her they would come to her in about an hour to join me in recovery.
PART I: I Guess You Wonder Where I’ve Been
I knew not to chance it. I was warned the last time that I had been only millimeters from emergency back surgery. The nature of the situation was such that the discs could slip into the spinal cord and trigger life threatening signals to my brain and throughout my body.
The Ties That Bind
NEO, I am so amazed the things you write about so openly. I am learning so much about myself even while I am learning about you. You are such a strong brutha. You don’t have fans Neo it seems like you have such a big online family. I can tell all of this is...Oh How We Danced- In Memory Of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine
A piece of my childhood passed away this week. I guess we all are a little guilty of liking some of the stupidest shows to ever appear on television but nobody of my generation will ever hear the first few bars of Count Basie’s “Jumpin’ at the...It’s Not Easy
Over the past year I have gotten many letters asking me what it is like being the one with answers for so many people who come to me for advice and how does it affect my life. The hardest part about being who I am is how much I hate being right. In my book EPIPHANY:...A LETTER: What Motivates Neo?
NEO, I just read a post about the blessing you have been to single moms. I am new to your page and to your writing and I just want to say God bless you. I also looked at your website and I see I have a lot of catching up to do. I have been blessed by what I have read...The Story of B: And You’re The Only One Who Knows
NEO, I heard you in an interview last month talking about your poetry book I Dream of You and you were telling some very wonderful and heartbreaking stories about which poems were related to what relationships in your life. There was one group of poems you talked...A LETTER: I Gets Lonely
NEO, you a man that got it together. Sometimes I wonder do you ever feel as lonely as me or empty like I feel without a mans? Sometimes I am tempted to let somebody come over but I done that in the past I end up with a baby all by myself everytime. I gets so lonely...An Awakening Moment from Sweet L
Sometimes God sends you a message through people in a way that you never expect. I get a lot of stuff sent to me and, most of the time it is an old skool song that someone around my age is just sharing to everybody, or a gospel artist they wanted to share in response...Don’t You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me Baby
I was doing my usual rounds on YouTube today and thought I would catch a little bit of Luther Vandross. I was halfway through enjoying one of my favorite songs of his when this completely ignorant youngin had the nerve to call Luther over-rated saying he ain’t...Speaking of Ray Rice
The Ray Rice situation has been on my heart for a while. In everything you read, I have been an advocate for women. And yet the most horrific experience in my life was being arrested and charged with domestic violence. I was unknowingly with a mentally unstable woman...Real Fears No Competition
NEO, I am not too proud to admit I would be scared to date somebody like you . I would feel like there is too much competition all the time. -VETTE MY REPLY: I remember Chris Rock making the joke that even J.J. from Good Times could get any girl he wanted. That was a...A Birthday to Remember
Each year I am asked “so what are you doing for your birthday” . Usually nothing. As a child, I once did, but that joy was quickly taken away from me. I didn’t know I was the dirty little family secret nobody wanted to talk about. The only problem...Y’all Betta Recognize: The New Civil Rights Generation
Those of us over 40 grew up at a time when you had to remember phone numbers, when calculators were a luxury, and when having good cursive writing penmanship was the sign of a decent education. Now our minds are lazy with contact lists, spell check, and dumbed down...A Ram In The Bush
So tonight I thought I would do something I have done rarely for the past few years and that is to go for some fast food. If you have been around reading for a while you know that I love to cook. When I was married I did the food shopping and most of the cooking and...THANKS NEO: Confessions of A Mother Hen
NEO, I prayed you be alright when I read you was in the hospital. When you was back home I felt relieved. Maybe it the mother hen in me but I imagine me taking your phone and pushing people away from your door so you could get the rest you need. You have a way of...Fulfilling The Mission
During my freshman year, as an undergraduate English and Education Major, I was a very serious student- a little too serious for most. Even I had to laugh when reading the letter that is in the Ask Dr Blaqness section of my website called “Speechless” when...No Tights Required
I have always been accused of having my father’s stubborn discipline and my mother’s relentless heart. I suppose, for a man, that can make for a dangerous combination. I grew up watching my mother do so much for others when we had so much less. Less money....Fighting For Freedom While Being Pulled Back Down
I don’t look for things in others that I don’t also aspire to be; neither can I seriously consider anyone who presents a laundry list of things they want in someone that they themselves can’t live up to. That is why it has always been important for...If Love Begins With L, Why Do We Start by Chasing The O
The friends I have with permanent STD’s didn’t get them by being deliberately promiscuous. Most got them from compromising themselves at a point of loneliness or weakness and now have to live with that for the rest of their lives. And even when the result wasn’t an STD but an unplanned pregnancy, it is still hard to look a child in the eye knowing that either your lust or your loneliness created a life that should have been made out of love.
The Black Relationship Challenge in An Interracial World
I understand exactly why so many black women have given up on black men because, based on my experience, I would have given up on black women except for these things
You Aren’t Entitled to Know Just Because You ask
It is never good to give anybody the sense that they can ask you anything just to be asking.
Snow Day
Sometimes, I don’t know who to feel sorrier for-my friends who have no idea what a day like this can be, or for myself and others who, when faced with such a day alone, truly know what we are missing.
Apparuit Nigrum
As I grow older, well meaning women wonder why I deny them the company of our wiser years together. But Golden Years are not meant for me. I will be a father til I die. There is no rocking chair for me, no retirement party in my future, no sunset days where it will be only you and me.
So Raise Your Glass
I have traveled a long way to finally being me. And I lost two women who married me who deserved to know that the direction of my life would outgrow what we would be capable of remaining. If I had known that, I would have never married them. But had I never married them, I would not be the man that those experiences have taught me to become.
Happy New Year 2014
It isn’t about everything being suddenly right with the world, but setting things right within your own heart and mind so that you are prepared to confront this New Year with courage in spirit and in truth…
A LETTER: Neo, How Do You Know?
I was born with discernment. It always scared the adults around me because there was nothing they could hide from me even as a child so it took away my childhood innocence very early. It also scares the women in my life because I know them so well long before they even open their mouth.
Social Media While In a Relationship- It’s Not Worth It
When there is always somebody online who will lie to you and tell you that you are right just to get in your pants, the relationship in front of you doesn’t stand a chance. In the absence of real mothers and fathers, the conscience of relationships has now reached a the new low of whatever the friends list thinks.
Bass Ackward Black Values
That is not to say that it is wrong to want more. But for that, you always have to consider the price, and whether or not it is worth paying it…. Extra work hours and child raised by strangers and the TV just so you can have a fancier house or car and you wonder why your child’s values are so messed up.
Unleashed- The Story Behind Neo Blaqness
What do your people call you? I think I get that question a hundred times a week as though I am some stray dog without a leash or collar. So let me set the record straight once and for all. Upon the emancipation of slaves in the United States, former slaves were given...Geeze Louise
“I had to really laugh at myself today as I vividly recalled being a young boy riding the city bus with my mother to clean up the home of an elderly woman suffering dementia which was not as well known as Alzheimer’s is today. We were sitting down to...The Battle of Me- Being Neo Blaqness
If you have never known the responsibility that comes with great gifts or a calling, it is very easy to misunderstand the one who has chosen to be a servant to it- easy to become an obstacle instead of a partner in it- easy to say “this is not what I signed up for”.
Rush to Judgement
Bobby reminded me today by saying “you got the gift to take the small words I know and make them beautiful in a way that people will listen and understand. And you got the heart and respect to do it right. That is why I check on you. I ain’t want nuthin. Just seeing how you was.”
Close That Door
I have had so many reasons in my life lately to think about that time in my childhood and how much we really don’t stop to consider the energy it costs someone when we stand in the doorway of decisions letting out the cool to the summer heat or the warm to the winter cold not realizing the bill we are running up in the home, heart, and mind of someone else who has to pay it.
Autumn
People often ask me what is it that I find so appealing about autumn? Is it the color of the leaves? The briskness of the air? The grey cloudy skies? The coming of the winter snow?
Reruns
A generation later we have gotten so hooked on laughing at the reruns that we forgot that our liberties are steady being assassinated, the hate speech is back stronger than ever, but they still don’t mind handing our sons and daughters guns to go do their dirty work in the name of protecting a freedom that nobody overseas is threatening any greater than what they are doing to us with their own legislation.
Sometimes You Just Don’t Know
The angels of hood survival always wore crooked halos or knock off victoria secret wings but they never pretended to be anything more than what they was. When they dropped out for a few weeks to several months you knew either somebody couldn’t come up with the bail money or they was just locked up for a while.
Understanding The Emotional Creature Within
In an emotional battle, no one ever wins. The problem with being drunk with emotion is you seldom can recall what you actually said and how you said it. You only hear what you meant to say in your head and you don’t understand why someone is responding like you said something wrong.
NEO’S TOP 25 LIFE EXPERIENCES
NEO’S TOP 25 LIFE EXPERIENCES THAT WILL MAKE US LIKELY TO GET ALONG IF WE HAVE THEM IN COMMON: 1. If you lived any part of life without a phone. 2. If you lived any part of life without a car. 3. If you ever had to walk home or ride the bus with groceries. 4. If...What’s In a Name?
It seemed to me that unless you were straight off the boat and black, any attempt at a self-identity apart from what was bred into you was ridiculed and seen as a threat with even black families getting upset when their sons and daughters dropped their white “Christian” name when joining the Nation of Islam or radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh clowned Kwanzaa as a “made up holiday” as though the descendants of former slaves have no right to the dignity of restoring their own heritage as best they can.
Post Mortem
Years ago, as a very young man much too old for his time, I was dating a neighborhood girl who literally had sex on the brain. Every single time we were around each other, that is what she wanted. Looking back, perhaps that is how she was taught she needed to be in...Legend of a Pen Pal Pervert
I leaped and I danced and I hugged it and said “It’s from my girlfriend and she loves me, she loves me, she loves me,” as I ran to my room to open the letter just knowing I had won her over with all my big words and even a little bit of Shakespeare.
Glimmer
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN GLIMMER by Neo Blaqness There is a joy I try to live by and that I endeavor to share with every soul I have been blessed to encounter; To try to be at least that one human being to understand the reasons for the absence of joy in the life of...The Music Never Ends
In a few days, I turn 45. I have been fortunate to have the music of love serenade my life quite a few times. And each time it has come and gone I have reflected upon this song.
Oh Lawd They Tried to Kill me
I swear if somebody really wants to knock me off, the best way to do it is have a little kid sell me something. So today I was on my way home and saw a huge sign for a yard sale. Now I don’t know about you but growing up, if you got your license and you really wanted...A LETTER: A Conversation with Blaqness
More often than not, a lot of the material that makes it to this site and into my articles and books come from conversations with readers with whom I have become friends. Here is another one I thought I would share. FROM A READER: You’re the Man….My...Lessons from My Middled Aged Clarity- by Neo Blaqness
Most people go through a middle aged crisis. But I had a middle aged clarity and thought I would share just a few personal epiphanies from it. 1. Racism is a tool of the rich to keep the poor fighting among them self. Give the white man a darker man to blame while...Oh Mirror In The Sky What Is Love?
I have watched many post the question, what is love? I think it is personal to every individual and it evolves for us as we grow and change. Just as we can never know the true measure of our strength until it is tried, I have found that everything I thought I knew...Why I Left The Ministry
At age 21, I had the temerity to believe myself called to ministry until I actually grew up to understand that life is not about religion but about individual spirituality. While I do still prescribe to many Christian principles, I no longer view religion in the...Why Are Polyamorists Mostly White?
The generic term of polyamory can include all combinations of reasons and genders. The truth is, many of us live some form of poly even if we don’t see it to admit it. In the black community we see it with a man who has children by multiple women who is often still cared for by each mother.