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People talk a lot about how crazy and desperate it is to look for love online. What they fail to realize is that times have changed. Today more than half the people who get married in America have met in some way online. The internet is also the second leading cause of divorce from people using it to cheat. And yet internet marriages that have been tracked over the past 20 years have proven to last longer than people who have met by traditional means. So what are we supposed to make of all of this. Glad you asked…LOL.

I spent the first half of my childhood without a phone, without a car, and no cable TV. Whoever you had a crush on you met either at school, in the hood, or at church. You might say that’s cool cuz at least you know the person and their family. But how much did you get into growing up that you hid from the people around you? And then ask yourself how many of those same people would you let see your profile as it is right now? I’m not just talking about crazy stuff but the truth is that many of you don’t always buy into everything that your family or the pastor tries to pump into your head so you usually keep that to yourself til you get grown enough to get away. But more often you don’t get away. You just go underground.

But what if you call yourself falling in love with somebody before you get away? Many times people get married because they just want to go along to get along. So they settle. It don’t have to be a bad man or a bad woman you settled for but you can still end up trapped in a marriage where you can’t really express yourself and what you really think about things cuz it ends up being a mess around the family or church. Don’t get it twisted, happiness is not the only reason a lot of people stay together. They just don’t know how to get out of it and still save face. For many women especially, a marriage becomes a prison of compromise.

So along comes this thing called the Internet, and guess what? You can express any and everything on your mind right down to the freaky before that other person even knows your real name. If they not feeling it, you can drop them. If they are feeling it, you go on to talk more. When handled right, the Internet allows you to have access to more people who are ready for someone like you without having to compromise so much of yourself. And that is why Internet marriages are lasting longer. It is also why the Internet creates so much divorce. Because if you are one of those people who chose somebody from the hood and you compromised yourself into a miserable marriage, all of a sudden the Internet introduces you to people more like you who you would have been much more happy with.

I’m not here to judge anybody who uses the Internet to find or even to get out of a relationship. But I think there is a right way to handle your business and that there are too many people who use the Internet as a convenience to replace somebody instead of working out their problems. Both men and women who lead a lot of people along into thinking they are serious and then drop off the face of the earth. That is where it gets nasty.

The truth is, there are dishonest people everywhere in life. If you are the kind of person who takes home strangers from the club for sex or invites somebody to your bed just because you think they fine, the Internet will chew you up and spit you out. But for the rest of us who don’t roll like that, you just have to be wise and look at the signs that tell you that somebody is a playa. The handwriting is usually on the wall but we find reasons to ignore it because the person looks hot or we are going through a lonely time. But you know when someone’s presence speaks to your heart. Love does not discriminate in the method it comes to you. And neither does pain. The only difference online is that you can find both in overwhelming abundance, if you are not wise.