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It is said that one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If that is, indeed, true, then love must be the most common form of insanity. Not only do we seek it out no matter how many times we are unsuccessful at it, we often repeat the same patterns to fulfill desires in those with whom we are least likely to truly find happiness.

As a vocalist, one of my all time favorite songs to perform is Bobby Caldwell’s “What You Won’t Do for Love”. It’s got a real smooth groove to it and words that connect universally. In case you have never read the words here they are:

I guess you wonder where I’ve been
I searched to find a love within
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you and I can’t let go

My friends wonder what is wrong with me
Well I’m in a daze from your love, you see
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you and I can’t let go

Some people go around the world for love
But they may never find what they dream of
What you won’t do, do for love
You’ve tried everything but you don’t give up
In my world only you make me do for love
What I would not do

But then I only want the best it’s true
They can’t believe the things I do for you
What you won’t do, do for love
You’ve tried everything but you don’t give up
In my world, only you make me do for love
What I would not do
Make me do for love what I would not do

The real story of this classic groove is its telling truths. In the absence of finding that love within, we search everyplace else and latch on to the vision of love that we see in others. It does look flattering on its face to have someone literally worship the ground that we walk on- especially if you have ever been in a relationship where it seemed like the other person did not care whether you lived or died. But both types of relationships are equally unhealthy.

There are many valid reasons that people find to love each other and making sacrifices in the name of that love is a part of who we are. Everyone likes to feel valued. But if you don’t also bring personal self-worth to the table, you become a slave to love instead of a participant in it. The song is tight; but the words have failure written all into them. But I suppose if we paid too close attention to the music of our lives, there wouldn’t be much left to dance to- unless, of course, we did the unthinkable… and began to listen to the true music within.