Unless you are just a vindictive person, it is in the heart of every one of us to want to forgive those who sincerely seek it. The problem is that we are also spiritually responsible to forgive those who don’t ask for it and that is a hard thing for us to comprehend because a lot of us have a twisted view of what forgiveness really is.
Yes I love God. Yes I have, as Paul the Apostle also wrote “learned that whatever state I am in, therein to be content.” But I also heed to the wise words Nat King Cole immortalized in song that “the greatest thing, you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved, in return.”
In my experience, where masturbation becomes dangerous is when it escalates and sustains desires toward someone you have no moral justification to ever be with that way. It ramps things up to the point where if given the opportunity, you will involve yourself with a situation unhealthy to your spirit. Only the individual knows when this is true.