Hey Neo Blaqness..I need to be blasted…I am trying hard to love someone that is so complex…It tests every fiber in me..I know that you are going to tell my dumb butt to move on…I know that…Trying to love someone that claims to love you back but shuts you out when they are going through is hard.stupid…etc….Just need to be blasted…I’m ready….Just wanted to get this out..Maybe you have a explanation why men do that. If not I can take the blast,,,to set me straight if nothing else….lol…
MY REPLY
The only thing you can do under the circumstances is to try to show love and support. But if it is not returned in kind. If it is ignored. If you are being blocked out of defensiveness or fear, you need to emotionally back off before you get hurt. Typically that means that the situation is serious enough that he is either trying to protect you from it or protect himself from you being disappointed or angry about something he is not prepared to share for whatever reason.
Regardless of the reason, this is a RED flag and you need to back away until honesty and transparency prevails. You women get your butts burned EVERY time trying to be the FIXERS and then go off when you get what you get. There is a reason a dog growls and shows his teeth. Why you still trying to pet him saying “awww him just need sum luv…”. Well if you truly believe that, go get certified in animal psychology and join the A.S.P.C.A. but don’t bring the cute little nervous Pit Bull home to be nursed back to sanity among your children and everyone else you care about.
Of course most of you ask and don’t listen anyway so I am not counting on you doing anything but continuing to mess with this dude til he messess you up… and then you will be too messed up for the real opportunity that might be waiting for you after him. There comes a point in life where you can still care… but you have to TAKE CARE of yourself and your heart first. Compassion is a very admirable quality in the majority of females… but some some of you are as stupid as a moth flying into a flame believing there is something righteous in being burned alive. -Neo
READER RESPONSE
Thanks for advice..Not a problem..I thought you would use it to set us women straight!!!
Take care..I need to be blasted to get my damn head/heart straight..
Much respect!
MY REPLY
As you can see, when I am approached like this, my attitude is much different than people who come at me stuck on stupid. I know the feeling of loving so much that it hurts to be limited in what you can actually do and all I can say is that even after backing off, continue to send positive thoughts in his direction… whether you call it prayer or something else. There is something in him that you recognized to be worthy of your love and he will need it even if he cannot have you.
READER RESPONSE
Thank you…one of my faults…seeing the good in someone and overlooking the faults…Thought I had conquered that defect…
I was leading towards backing off and just depositing positive thoughts towards him…I knew today that I cannot continue in a one sided relationship. Just wanted to hear from impartial man’s perspective before I made that decision to back off and move on…
You really are a kind compassionate..caring person..That is one of the reason that I felt comfortable in sharing this with you and getting a..excuse the following quote….”A Come to Jesus” response.
When I first started reading your thoughts I was on the defense…Then.(like I told in one of our first exchange of messages), I had to deal with my own values,,,morals…etc..and look at things differently. You are entitled to your thoughts..values and morals like all of us… I read yours words/thoughts/messages with a open mind. They still cut sometimes..but not a deep or as much..
I see the care and concern now.
